things aren't always set in stone
by loudlovexx
Summary: au: dan humphrey is randomly paired with nate archibald to room with in college. nate never seems to be around for the first few weeks until dan walks in on him and his fiancee, blair waldorf. dan's quiet life of studying and skyping with vanessa quickly turns into a life full of more drama than he bargained for
1. Chapter 1

Dan Humphrey, freshman at NYU, had seen his roommate, Nate Archibald, a total of four times since move in day and today marked the fifth. It was October 3rd when it happened, and he would probably never forget it, unless maybe he got hit on the head and got amnesia. Dan was stopping by his room between two of his classes to swap out his books, like he normally did on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, and when he opened his door to his room he saw a very unfamiliar sight. Dan's eyes widened as he saw the bare back of a brunette and the legs of his roommate.

Nate looked up as he heard the door open and grabbed the girl's torso, pulling her to him. "Shit, man, I didn't know you would be back this early," Nate said. Dan recognized a sly, prideful grin come over Nate's face as Dan dropped his books on the desk.

The brunette turned around and gave him, what Dan could only describe as, a look full of pure hatred. "Get the fuck out," she snarled, pressing her body to Nate.

Dan shielded his eyes and turned from them, "Look, I'm so sorry. The dorm is just on my way to my next class and both books are super heavy and I always come-"

"Dude, it's okay," Nate said.

Out of a natural response to having a conversation, Dan turned around again and quickly brought his hand up to his eyes. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't see anything." Dan grabbed his other book that he needed off the desk and shoved it into his bag. "I'll just be going, now," Dan said, pointing to the door. "It was great to see you, Nate."

Dan could hear Nate laughing behind him and he waved over his head before leaving the room. He took a deep breath, as he closed it and walked away shell-shocked. He wasn't sure why Nate was there but that didn't fare well for the single room that he had been enjoying for the last few weeks.

* * *

><p>When Dan got back to the room, he paused before entering. Dan hit the door with his knuckles before hearing a muffled, "Come in," from the other side.<p>

He opened the door and saw Nate and the mystery brunette sitting on Nate's bed. Nate has his arm draped casually around the girl and they had Nate's, Dan presumed, lap top in front of them. Dan nodded a greeting to them both, before sitting at his desk and opening his book from earlier. Dan heard footsteps land on the floor and Nate's hand grasp his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about before," Dan said, his cheeks reddening as he turned his head upwards to look at Nate.

Nate shrugged, "Nah, it's not a big deal. I probably should have told you that I'd be here. We should probably swap numbers, actually, being roommates and all."

Dan nodded, grabbing his phone from his back pocket. "Yeah, that would probably be for the best. Maybe we can save ourselves these awkward run ins." Dan rambled off his number to Nate, who then gave Dan his.

"Anyways, let me do some introductions here. Dan, this is my girlfriend-"

"Fiancée," the brunette interrupted, lifting her hand to show Dan, and Nate, the sparkling diamond sitting on her ring finger.

"My fiancée," Nate said, slightly coughing over the word. "Dan, this is my fiancée, Blair Waldorf. Blair, this is my roommate, Dan Humphrey."

Dan gave the girl, thankfully fully clothed, a small wave and then stood up and extended his hand to her. She took it, surprising him with a firm handshake. "Nice to meet you. Sorry about before, again."

"Pleasure, I'm sure," Blair responded, raising an eyebrow in return. Blair looked at her hands, admiring her ring. "Are you from New York, Humphrey?"

"Brooklyn. I'm from just over the bridge."

"I try not to go over that bridge," Blair said, distaste seeping into her words. "Probably why I don't recognize you."

Dan shrugged, "And… and are you from New York?"

"Upper East Side. The only real part of New York," she laughed, placing her hand on Nate's shoulder. "Right, Nate?"

Nate gave her a noncommittal shrug. "Yeah, whatever. It's all the same city."

Dan caught Blair's eye as she glared at the top of Nate's head. "So… will you two be here more often?" he asked, sitting back down at his desk. "I can give you my schedule so whatever happened this afternoon doesn't have to happen again."

"To be honest, Humphrey, the only one who is embarrassed about before is you," Blair replied.

"Blair, be nice," Nate warned her softly. "It looks like that. I was staying at my parent's house, but they want me to get the full college experience and stay at the dorm more often. Maybe just during the week? Blair goes to Columbia-"

"An Ivy," she interrupted.

"Yes, I know it's an Ivy," Dan scoffed. "I was born in Brooklyn, not yesterday." Dan flipped through the pages of the textbook, "Well, I guess I'll just have to get used to having a real roommate and not an invisible one."

"I'm sure we can get it to work, and I'm sure Blair will warm up to you."

"I'm right here, Nate," Blair replied. "You don't need to speak for me."

"Sorry," Nate said and Dan could hear kissing sounds behind his back. Dan, in reply, slipped his headphones into his ears and drowned the two of them out. If the year was going to go anyway like this day, it was going to be a long year.


	2. Chapter 2

"Blair," Dan said, opening the door to see the all familiar face of his roommate's fianceé waiting on Nate's bed. "Nice to see you again."

Blair looked up from the book in her hand, "Wish I could say the same. I was hoping you were Nate."

"And I was hoping my room was empty," Dan shrugged. "Where is Nate, anyways?"

"He said he had class," Blair responded.

Dan didn't respond but instead looked at Nate's schedule that was taped to the wall and noted, to himself and not to Blair, that Nate's schedule had been wide open since noon. So where was he? "Well, I am going to study, then."

"Is that all you do, Humphrey?" Blair asked, throwing a pen at him. Dan caught it and she widened her eyes. "Are you secretly a ninja, Humphrey?"

"No, but my dad forced me into self defense classes when I was younger," Dan responded, placing the pen at her side. He sat down on his bed with a book and leaned against the wall. "I had a rough time when I was in school. I mean, I'm still in school… just younger version of me in school."

Blair rolled her eyes, "I didn't realize I asked for your tragic backstory. I'm sure Brookyln was really rough for you." Blair put on a false sense of empathy in her voice, covering her chest with her hands. "You would hardly know that you went through such rough times."

Dan rolled his eyes, hitting the back of his head against the wall. "You know, you could wait for Nate somewhere else. Maybe even just outside that door," he said, pointing with his highlighter to the door which opened right as he pointed.

Nate came in, sweating slightly and out of breath. "I'm late, I'm so late," he said, going to the bed and giving Blair a kiss. "And I'm gross. I just came running from the library. I had a study session with a group from my psychology class, we have a presentation. Guess who's in my group, Blair? It was picked randomly by the professor, and I didn't even realize that she was in my class."

"I don't know, Nate," Blair said, rolling her eyes and pushing herself off the bed. "Jesus? Although you said she… Lindsay Lohan? Is she currently taking classes?"

"No, Serena."

Dan thought, from his position behind his book, that Blair's face went stark white. He was suddenly intrigued and he placed the book on his chest.

"Serena?" Blair said, leaning back on the bed frame. "Serena Van Der Woodsen? Serena, who dropped off the face of the planet when she went to boarding school, Serena?"

"The very one," Nate said, nodding.

"How very fascinating," Blair said, rolling her eyes. "Can you go shower? We have dinner reservations and I don't want to go with this," she grabbed at Nate's t-shirt with her thumb and index finger.

Dan, personally, did think this was very fascinating especially the juxtaposition of their two reactions. He was no relationship expert but he thought Nate was being a little obtuse that his girlfriend would be excited that this Serena person was back in the picture.

Nate grabbed a towel from the back of the door and turned to his girlfriend, Dan grabbed his book and hid his face behind it, "Do you want to come?"

Dan stifled a gag.

"No," Blair said shortly. "Can you be quick? This room smells of unkept Brooklyn hipsters."

Dan couldn't see her from behind his book but he was positive that she was glaring at him. Hearing the door close, Dan pushed himself to his side and looked at the brunette. "So, who's Serena?"

"You're a little eavesdropper, Humphrey," Blair narrowed her eyes and threw a pillow at him.

"I'm not eavesdropping. What else was I supposed to listen to? My phone is over there and I couldn't read my book over the noise."

Blair hoisted herself back on to Nate's bed and stared at him, before finally starting to talk. "She's just a girl. We used to be friends with her until she went to boarding school and cut us all off. And now, apparently, she's back in New York, coincidentally at the same school as Nate."

Dan didn't want to press his luck, but he felt as though there was more to the story. Maybe he should have been a Criminal Justice major instead of Literature.

* * *

><p>"How was your date?" Dan asked as Nate came back in the room around 11 P.M. They pair of them had left around 5 so Dan was surprised it had taken this long. What did a couple who had been together since Middle School have left to talk about? "Was Blair her usual bright, cheery self?"<p>

Nate chuckled, "Yeah, she's not the warmest at first. I promise, she'll warm up to you eventually, man."

Nate came closer and Dan got a giant whifff of pot on his clothes. "Did you guys smoke up after your date?" Dan raised his eyebrows, "Blair seems like a wine girl and not a weed girl."

Lifting his shirt to his nose, Nate took a smell and Dan noticed the red in his eyes. "No, she's not. I met up with… a friend after." Nate coughed over the word friend and Dan, over the last few weeks, took it to mean that he was nervous about something.

"Oh, got it," Dan said, flicking the light on his bedside table off. He found that guilty people talked more when there was silence then when they had questions.

"It's nothing," Nate said, and Dan could hear him shuffling around in the dark. "I just saw this girl I used to know and we met up."

Dan pulled his bed sheet up to his chin and kept silent.

"It's just this girl, Serena, man," Nate continued on. "We, I don't know, we had this thing before she went to boarding school Sophomore year of high school so when I saw her in class at the beginning of the year… I don't know. You have to see her, man." Nate paused, taking a deep breath, and Dan could hear the squeaks of the mattress as Nate sat on his own bed. "You have to see her. She looks like a literal angel. The complete opposite of Blair. She light and sweet and absolutely fucking gorgeous."

Dan sat up slightly, "Aren't you engaged?"

"Yeah, I know, it's completely fucked up. I don't know what I'm doing."


	3. Chapter 3

"You don't even like Blair," Vanessa, Dan's best friend from Brooklyn, said as she lifted her tea to her lips. Dan and her had a weekly Skype date since Vanessa moved to California to major in film at USC. "Why do you care what Nate does, or doesn't do. It's not like you have this proof that he's cheating on her."

Dan rubbed his brow, "I know. I don't like Blair but I also don't like cheaters. I saw what it did to my dad, Vanessa."

Vanessa laughed, running her hand over her shaved head. "Come on, Dan. They're engaged in college. Do you think either of them thought it was going to last?"

"I think Blair probably did."

"Then she is dumb," Vanessa countered. "Come on, Dan. What do you care about these rich bitches anyways? These are exactly the kind of people who made your life miserable in high school. They deserve whatever is coming to them."

"I see college hasn't changed you at all, Vanessa."

"Bigger place, same people," she responded. "Might be slightly more artistic with my major but you still have the same jokes, bitches, more artistic than the rest people…"

"And you clearly fit in with the more artistic people."

"I am what I am," she said, shrugging. "Come on, Dan. Your life in college can't be defined by Skyping with me on Saturday nights and living through your roommate's weird relationship. Go out. Have some fun. It's college, Dan! You're wasting it."

"I'm not wasting it," Dan argued. "I'm on scholarship, I need to study. This is a study break. Anyways, you're doing the same thing as I am doing. Skyping with me on a Saturday."

"It's 10 PM in New York, Dan, it's only 7 in California. I have plans with friends tonight. What do you have planned for after?"

"Okay… why are you suddenly trying to force me out into the world?"

"Because," she continued, "I don't want you to have the same college experience that you did in high school. Go have fun, Dan. Go live a little. It's Halloween weekend, for God's sake."

* * *

><p>Dan stood in the corner of the cramped dorm room, a warm beer in his hand.<p>

"So, what's your major?" the blonde said, leaning against him. She was wearing angel wings and devil horns, Dan figured she thought that she was being ironic. "You look like a business major, or something important. The girl took the beer from Dan's hand and took a swig. "Do you want to get out of here?" she asked, raising eyebrows.

"I think I'm okay," Dan said, taking his beer back. It may be warm but he paid five dollars from whoever's room this was to take it. "But thank you for the offer. I now feel like I'm finally at college."

A round of, "College!" broke out around him. Dan rolled his eyes, not able to take the crowd anymore, and took the rest of the warm liquid in one chug. He left the bottle on the table in front of him as he walked out the door and straight into Blair.

"Humphrey," she moaned as they both rubbed their shoulders where they collided. She was dressed as a greek goddess and Dan couldn't help but do a once over of the costume. "That hurt," Blair whined.

"Sorry, didn't see you there," Dan said, stating the obvious. "You look lovely, Blair."

Blair looked down at her dress, "Oh this old thing? Nate told me we were going to a toga party and brought me to this pre-party thing and now I can't find him. It's like he disappeared." She looked distressed as she looked around, "You haven't see him, have you? We were just down the hall and he's not answering his phone."

"Do you think he's okay?" Dan asked, grabbing her upper arm.

Blair rolled her eyes, "Yeah, of course. I just don't know why he just left me. I turned to get us drinks from my bag and I looked back and he was gone."

Dan looked over his shoulder to see Nate in a make shift toga with a blonde following behind him. "I think he's right there, Blair," he said, pointing behind her.

Blair turned, "Serena."

"That's Serena?" he asked, his mouth slightly open. "She is gorgeous."

Blair hit his chest, "Don't say that."

Dan rubbed the spot where she hit, "Sorry."

"Blair, I found you!" Nate said, a smiling covering his mouth. "I didn't know where you went and I left my phone in the room. Look who I found!"

"I see," Blair nodded. "It's Serena."

"Blair," the blonde squealed. "It's so nice to see you." Serena threw her arms around Blair and in response, the brunette left hers hanging limp at her side. Serena gave her another squeeze and Dan couldn't help but stifle a laugh as he saw Blair bring a hand to the girls back and tap it slightly.

Blair pulled away, "Yes, it's so great to see you. With my fiancé. When I lost him in a dorm party, I didn't think that you would have found him for me." Blair reached for Nate's hand, making sure the other saw the ring.

"You're engaged?" the blonde asked, her face showing all her emotions and none of them good. "You're engaged! This is amazing. I had no idea."

Blair glared at Nate, "You didn't tell her?"

Nate ran his hand through his hair and looked sheepish, "It didn't come up?"

She dropped his hand and turned quickly on her heel to walk through the crowd, leaving Dan with Nate and Serena. "Do you-" Dan started, "Do you want to go after her?"

"No, she just gets more pissed if I do that. Better let her walk it off," Nate told him, clasping his hand on Dan's shoulder. "Do you want to come to the toga party?"

* * *

><p>Dan jogged through the crowd and down the stairs after her. "Blair," he called. "Blair Waldorf."<p>

The brunette spun around, tears glistening down her cheeks. "What, Humphrey? Did Nate send you?"

"Yes," he lied. "He said you wouldn't want to see him and wanted to make sure you got home safely."

Blair wiped a tear off her face, "Well, he's right about one thing." She turned around and started walking down the stairs again, slowing her pace so Dan could catch up. "Did he tell you everything? About them?" He shook his head and she explained. "They slept together when I was gone for the summer, between freshman and sophomore year of high school. He was my boyfriend and she was my best friend and they lost their virginities to each other. I think, sometimes, that Nate sticks with me out of guilt. When he proposed, I thought this was it. This is him choosing me over a ghost of our past. And then she shows up here. And he lies about her… that he found out she was in class over their project. He sees her outside of class. He leaves me hanging and then shows up completely stoned, smelling of pot and perfume."

"Blair," Dan started.

"I don't need your sympathy, Humphrey. I'm just laying out the facts." The stepped into the crisp October air and Dan removed his jacket, draping it over her shoulders. "I don't know what he wants from me. I think he wants me to break up with him so he can be free of guilt, but I won't. I love him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

Dan nodded. "Yeah, I can tell. I'm sure he loves you too…" he trailed off.

"I know he loves me, Humphrey. He's just a silly boy, he doesn't know what he wants. She's the Marilyn and I'm the Jackie. He'll marry the Jackie… you just wait and see."

Blair stepped into the street and raised her hand. "I'm going back home, Humphrey. Thank you for the jacket," she said, letting it slide off her shoulders and handing it to him, their hands grazing under the fabric. Dan jerked his hand back and the jacket fell between them. Blair shook her head and bent down, at the same time as Dan, to retrieve it from the ground. They came up, both grasping their heads where they had clashed, again, and the jacket. "Don't drop it this time, Humphrey. I'm not sure if I can take another hit from you."

"Sorry," Dan groaned, letting the jacket dangle in his fingertips. "Anyways, let me know if you need anything."

"What would I need from you, Humphrey?"

Dan shrugged, "I don't know… a friend?"

A taxi pulled up and she opened the door. "You know, I might just need that."

She climbed into the car and Dan closed the door for her and waved.

Maybe this is what Vanessa meant by living a life outside of their Skype dates. Falling for your roommate's fianceé. That was living, right?


	4. Chapter 4

Week One of Friendship

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Blair laughed, throwing a piece of bread from Dan's plate at his face. "I'm not going to offer up sexual favors for a better grade, Humphrey."

"I didn't say that," he protested, putting his hands over his heart. "I just suggested you find him a date for before the test that merely distracts him from giving it to you."

Blair rolled her eyes, "No. I think I need to resort to actual studying instead of stalking all of Nate's moves. What can you tell me about political science?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all," he said, standing and taking his tray. "I can grab yours," he said, reaching for her empty tray. "I do know that you'd be ruthless enough to make a great president."

"Or queen," Blair said, miming putting a crown on her head.

"How many," Dan said, wavering his hand in front of her face, "people do you think you could or would kill to get the crown?"

"As many as I need to," she replied, standing.

Dan laughed, "Maybe you should just write that down on your test and your professor would fear you so much that he would give you an A."

Blair walked around the table and they started to walk outside of the Panera, Dan's choice due to the price. Dan held the door for her and gave her a slight bow.

"Oh thank you," Blair said, curtseying slightly. "How nice of you. I'll give you a promotion from door holder to… door holder of my chariot."

"What a benevolent ruler," Dan said, following behind her.

Blair nodded, laughing, as they both stopped and stood in front of the other. "Well, that will be my plan. I'll write, Professor Burns… one day I will be queen and will murder you if you stand in my way."

Dan threw his head back, "Maybe not that far… but close." He looked at her again, "So, same time next week for lunch?"

"It's a plan, Humphrey," she said nodding and they set out on their separate ways.

* * *

><p>Week Two of Friendship<p>

Dan sighed as Blair pressed play on the DVD player and the beginning of Breakfast at Tiffany's started to play. "Really, Blair? I expected you to have higher taste than this."

Blair glared at him, "What's that supposed to mean, Humphrey?"

"Don't start her on her love of Breakfast at Tiffany's," Nate said, as Blair settled herself in his lap. "She's loved it since I've known her and I've known her since birth."

Blair nodded, leaning her head against Nate's shoulder. "It's true, Humphrey. It's been my favorite movie since I was a child. I even had a cat named Cat and claimed that he didn't belong to me… even though he tried to escape once and I dragged him back by his tail."

Nate chucked, kissing Blair's neck and Dan turned his head from the couple to the television.

"Well, it's just a bit of a stereotype. I'm sure you have a poster in your dorm room of Audrey Hepburn."

Dan got a pillow thrown at his face and he glared at Blair.

"It wasn't me, Humphrey. Nate was protecting his queen," she said, nuzzling into Nate's neck. "Isn't that sweet?"

"So sweet, Blair," Dan said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Look, I should go. I just realized I forgot about a test I have tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Blair said, turning her head and pausing the movie. "Tomorrow is Sunday, Humphrey. Do you have a test on a Sunday? Nate, did you know they give tests at this school on Sundays?"

"News to me," Nate said, looking at Dan weirdly. "Some special class you're in?"

"I meant Monday… but I haven't studied yet, so I need to go," Dan said, throwing his legs off the bed and jumping down. He grabbed hastily at his books, not even seeing which ones he took, "See you later, guys."

"Bye Humphrey," Blair said, waving to him. "Knock before you come back. You never know what you'll find."

* * *

><p>Week Three of Friendship<p>

"What are you writing?' Blair asked, poking him with her pen across the table. They were in the NYU library, where Blair spent most of her studying hours. She would have been at Columbia, she explained to Humphrey, but she couldn't accidentally run into Serena there and remind her of her presence, and her ring. "It doesn't look like you're studying?" she whispered.

"Nothing," Dan said, pulling the journal away from her. "It's for a class."

"Then let me see, Humphrey," she said, sitting up in her seat and leaning over. "Come on. We're friends, let me see."

Dan reluctantly handed over his notebook, cringing internally as she read his words, her lips silently moving as she read.

"What is this? It's good," she said, looking up briefly.

He shrugged, grabbing at the moleskin journal. Blair was too fast and turned to her side and out of his reach. "It's for a class, I told you."

"What class?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "I didn't think you were in any creative writing classes."

"It's for next semester, I'm getting a jump on my school work." Dan reached for the journal again and Blair reluctantly gave it back to him. "It's just something I'm working on."

"Well it's good, Humphrey. And I know good literature. My mother is friends with so many authors that live in New York. They all come over for dinner parties," she said, looking off into the distance. "God, I can't wait until Thanksgiving. I'm sick of this dorm food."

"Don't you go home practically every night you're not with Nate for meals?"

Blair rolled her eyes, "Maybe." She bit the top of her lip and looked down at what she was studying and Dan took the moment to study her. He didn't know how Nate had trouble choosing between her or Serena. The choice, for him at least, was obvious. "What are you looking at, Humphrey?" she asked.

"You have something on your cheek," he lied, reaching over and brushing his sleeve against her face. "There, got it." Blair narrowed her eyes and in return he shrugged, trying his best to be nonchalant. "It looks like maybe mascara?"

"Well, thank you then. I have dinner with Nate's parents tonight, it would be tragic to show up with black smudges on my face."

A couple of moments of silence passed between them as they both worked on their respective papers before Blair kicked him under the table. "Hey, is that Serena?" she asked, nodding to a blonde who just sat a few tables away. "And is that Nate with her?" Blairs voice rose and she was instantly shushed by people around them. "Oh, give it up. We're at a college library. Poeple talk, it's natural." People shushed her again and she gave them the middle finger. "Can you see? I have books in my way?"

Dan turned around and slightly rose from the table so he could see, "It looks like it could be?"

"Mother fucker," Blair said, getting shushed again. "Oh, fuck off," she said to the people around them as she stood. "I'm going to go talk to them," she told Dan as she started to walk towards the table. Dan grabbed at her wrist and stopped her.

"Just let them be, Blair," Dan told her. "Let it go it's course. You already know they are meeting, why is this surprising you?"

"I'm just going to go say hi, Dan," she said, twisting her wrist from his hand. "You can either join me or wait here."

Dan stood. He figured, if anything, he could at least stop Blair from lunging at the blonde.

Blair practically floated to the table and she put her books down next to Nate, who looked like he was just caught with his pants down. "Funny to run into the two of you," she said, sitting down next to Nate. Dan took the seat opposite of her, next to Serena. "We were just studying over there," she pointed to the table that her and Dan left, "when we saw you. More the merrier, right? What are you studying, Serena?"

Serena looked down at her notes, "My psychology class."

"And you, Nate?"

"Uh," he said, looking around and having no books to present. "I just walked Serena from our history class to here. I was just leaving."

Blair nodded, "Yes, you should be off."

Nate looked at Dan as though Dan was going to offer him help, instead he just shrugged. Nate wandered off into the stacks of the library. Dan wondered when he was going to return with a random book just to have an excuse to make sure his fianceé didn't maul the blonde.

"Serena," Blair said, her voice lowering. "Stay the fuck away from Nate. Outside of your little study group, stay away from him. You fucked him once under my nose, wasn't that enough?" Blair stood and gathered her books in her arms. "Let's go, Humphrey."

Dan stood, looking from Blair to Serena. Both of the girls looking like they were about to cry, Blair from rage and Serena from shame? He couldn't tell with her. "It was nice to see you, Serena," he muttered.

"Yeah, you too, Dan."

* * *

><p>Week Four of Friendship<p>

"Humphrey, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Blair asked, leaning against the doorframe of his and Nate's shared room watching Nate gather the rest of the essentials he needed for the long weekend at home.

Dan shrugged, "My dad is going to his girlfriend's, so maybe there?"

Blair nodded, "Well, if you feel like it, stop by my place for dessert. I make the best pie."

"She does," Nate grunted, slinging a bag over his shoulder. "It's to die for."

"I'll see what I can do, but she lives in Connecticut."

"Yuck," Blair said, pretending to gag. "Well, have a good Thanksgiving."

"You too," he said, watching as the two of them left hand in hand. Their relationship astounded him, he decided. Blair, who seemed so strong and confident, was not the kind of girl he pegged for being okay with a cheating boyfriend. And Nate… Nate was just a small fish in a big pond who realized he had options. He wasn't going to let Blair go if he didn't have to, or at least until he knew if Serena was going to commit. And Serena, who Dan had seen over a regular basis come and go from this room, seemed to not want to pursue anything with Nate if Blair was still in the picture.

It made his head spin.

He heard a light knock on the door before it opened.

"Oh, sorry," Serena said, popping her head in. "I came to say goodbye to Nate, but it looks like he already left."

"I think Blair came a little early," Dan said, waving her inside. "He didn't look prepared when she showed up."

Serena brushed a piece of blonde hair out of her face, "Sounds like Blair. What are you still doing here? Aren't you going back to Brooklyn for the holiday?"

"I don't think so," he said, shrugging. "My sister went to my mom's in Hudson and my dad is wavering on going to Connecticut or drinking his way though the holiday. Neither of them sound like great options." He had lied to Blair before, not wanting a pity invitation to her dinner. He knew she would have given him one, too, and not because she felt bad, but she knew that Nate was starting to be bothered by all the time they were spending together.

"Me either," Serena said, stepping in to the room and hopping on Nate's bed. "I mean, obviously I wouldn't be going to Brooklyn… but I think I don't have plans either. My mom went to Florida with my brother. I have a ticket to go tonight, but I'm not feeling it. I'd rather be alone than spend it listening to my mom argue with her sister about the best way of raising their children. Spoiler alert, they're both pretty shitty at it."

Dan laughed, sitting up, "So what are you going to do?"

"Go find a Chinese restaurant and drink scorpion bowls until I get sick or die?" Serena said, turning her face to him. "Are you up for it?"

Dan thought for a second before nodding. "I think that sounds much better than Connecticut."

Serena stood, "It's a date then." She flashed a smile at him before walking out of the room. "See you tomorrow, Dan."

"See you tomorrow, Serena."

When the door closed and he felt as though she was a comfortable distance away from his room, he dialed Vanessa.

"I think I've gotten myself in over my head," he said after she greeted him.

"Welcome to college, Dan Humphrey."


	5. Chapter 5

"So let me get this straight," Vanessa said, taking the bottle of whiskey from Dan's hands and taking a swig. She was home for the Christmas holidays and Dan was filling her in on what had become his life. Dan, who read Proust for fun, had suddenly become a bonafide Drama King. "You," she pointed at him using the bottle as she held a camera in the other hand, "like Blair who is engaged to Nate who wants Serena who you are currently having sex with. Do you picture Blair when you're fucking?"

Dan groaned, "That's crude, Vanessa." He reached for the bottle but instead hit her camera."

"Hey, this thing is expensive. It was my entire summer of being a barista to afford this. It's my precious." Vanessa turned the camera at her and checked to make sure everything was still working. She told Dan that she wanted to document this for her film class, a documentary class, and Dan had reluctantly agreed to be taped. "And who's party are we going to?"

"Chuck Bass. He is Blair and Nate and Serena's friend from high school. Apparently he's a huge fuck up and his dad sent him to military school for the rest of high school and he continued on in college."

"I've heard of him," Vanessa said, steadying the camera on the tripod before sitting on Dan's bed next to him.

Dan looked at her oddly, "You have heard of someone from the Upper East Side?"

She shrugged, "Coffee talk. Apparently he's a real bastard and the son of a real bastard. Never had a chance to be a good person. He was accused of some nasty things in high school before his dad sent him off."

"Like what?" Dan asked.

Vanessa pointed at the camera, "I'll tell you later. I don't want to get sued for libel."

"I thought this was just for a class?"

"Well, what if it's really good, Dan? Maybe more people deserve to see it."

Dan shook his head, "No."

Vanessa smiled, a mischievous gleam in her eye. "Anyways, tell me more about the love quadrangle. How did you get tied up with Serena? I thought you were fully Team Blair… with merchandise and everything."

The door to his room opened and his little sister walked in, "Jenny, get out."

"Relax," she responded, rolling her eyes extra dramatically. "I just came to say hello to Vanessa. Jesus, Vanessa, your hair, or rather lack thereof, looks so badass. When did you do it?"

Vanessa rubbed her head and grinned, "Right when I moved to California. The heat, I tell you. It was killing me."

"Well you look amazing," Jenny said, leaning in to give her a hug. "Are you free to get lunch before you go back?"

"Anything for you, Little J," Vanessa nodded.

"Great, see you later, then," Jenny smiled, practically bouncing out of the room. "I am going to a party."

"Hey," Dan called out after her. "Hey, Jenny, what party?"

Vanessa hit him lightly in the chest, "She's 17, Dan. Let her go."

"She's my sister, Vanessa."

"Yeah, and even sisters deserve a night out or two."

Dan leaned against his wall and took the whiskey from her hand. "Not that one, she'll get into trouble."

"Come on, Dan, let's get back to the main point. What about this love quadrangle?"

"Right… well, after Thanksgiving, I hung out with Serena that whole weekend. No one else was really on campus and she's actually really cool. Like, stunningly beautiful and super cool."

"And you guys had sex on Thanksgiving. Is that all it takes from being a staunch team Blair supporter to a full on team Serena supporter?"

"There are no teams, Vanessa," he said, rolling his eyes. "We just get along. She's really nice and funny and less… scary? than Blair."

"But you still like Blair."

"I don't know?' he admitted. "I can now see why Nate is so confused."

Dan's phone started to pulsate next to them and he grabbed it and answered, "Serena? Yeah, we'll be there. I'm bringing my friend, Vanessa. Yeah, okay, text me the address."

"Ready?"

Vanessa picked up the camera, zooming in on Dan's face, "I'm always ready."

* * *

><p>"Jenny, what are you doing here?" Dan shouted over the music, his hand resting on Serena's lower back.<p>

Jenny, all decked out to the nines, smiled, "I was invited, Dan."

"By who?"

"Chuck. On Facebook. He invited everyone."

Dan turned to Serena who shrugged, "It's Chuck. He just likes a good time."

He turned around to look at his sister and she had already disappeared into the crowd. He scanned the crowd for Vanessa and spotted her head, easily to do as the lights were reflecting off her bald skin, as she moved her camera in through the crowd. "I don't know, Serena. This doesn't seem like the party my high school sister should be at."

"Funny, this is the exact kind of party I went to in high school," Serena said, laughing as she threw her hands over her head and started to dance. "Come on, loosen up. We're having fun." Serena grabbed into her bag and produced two little pills. "Do you want?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "It makes everything feel so… so great."

Dan shook her off and watched as she placed one on her tongue and the other back in her bag. "I'll take it if he doesn't want it," Nate said, sneaking up behind them with Blair in two, albeit it looked reluctantly.

"No, he won't," Blair said, pulling on Nate's arm. "Come on, Nate. I thought you grew out of your any drug but pot phase."

A man swung his arms around Nate and Blair and pulled them in closer, "Come on, Blair, have some fun. Tonight is all about debauchery. If you're afraid there's not a pill for you, I'm sure I can find one in my stacks for you."

"Get off me, Chuck," Blair said, wiggling out of his arm. "Nate can do whatever he wants, I just won't be part of it."

Nate shrugged and Serena dug through her bag again and gave it to him.

Dan shook his head and wandered away from them, hearing and ignoring Serena call out his name from behind them. He saw Blair's hair crawl out a window and stand on the fire escape. Naturally, he followed her.

"Humphrey," she said, sounding miserable. "I see you've officially gone to the dark side."

"What are you talking about, Blair?" he asked.

"Serena. You are all over her."

"We're kind of dating," he put his hands in his pocket and leaned over the fire escape to see the ground below.

"You're not dating," she corrected him, "you're fucking. She doesn't date people from Brooklyn. Believe me. No one in our circle does."

That stung. Dan whistled briefly before sitting on one of the stairs going to the next level. "Well, then, you certainly know how to put someone in their place."

Blair looked at him confused, "I'm sorry, Humphrey. I shouldn't have said that. You probably are dating, but Serena probably doesn't know it." She sat down next to him and Dan, once again, took his coat off to drape on her shoulders. "I don't know what's getting in to me. I'm acting like a nagging wife and we're not even married yet. I just- I hate when he's high. And he's a stoner so he's almost always high. I can take the weed high, it's everything else. He turns into a different person."

"Blair," Dan started before closing his mouth and vowing to be silent.

"What?" she asked. Dan stayed silent before she poked, hard, into his ribs.

"Do you ever think that maybe, just maybe, you two shouldn't be engaged?"

"This is just a phase," she said, her voice wavering and he could tell that she didn't believe it herself. "I mean, yes, sometimes I think we rushed into things… but we were dating for four years. I didn't pressure him into proposing, if that's what you're thinking."

Dan held his hands up and shook his head, "I wasn't thinking that at all."

"It was different," Blair said, "before. Before she came back, before college. We were really happy in high school together. We had plans. He wanted this just as I did. He proposed without even talking to me about it but I knew it was right, I still think that maybe it's right. It's his grandmother's ring," she said, holding out her hand and admiring the ring. "His parents told him he could only have it if he was really sure. They got married young, too. Nate swore up and down that this was what he wanted, that he wanted me. And now… now, I think he wishes he just bought a ring. It would be a lot easier for him to break the engagement if he bought the ring."

Dan let his arm drape over her shoulders and she moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Maybe you should take a break?"

"If we take a break, I'll never get him back."

Dan had no argument to make to that. Instead, he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. Vanessa.

"They are making out on the dance floor, Dan," Vanessa said, her voice not hiding the glee. "Full on making out… oh shit, there goes her shirt."

"What did she say? Who's making out?" Blair said, eavesdropping in the conversation before it hit her. She stood, and rushed towards the window to see Nate and Serena doing exactly as Vanessa described.

"What did you do, Vanessa?" Dan muttered into the phone, watching Blair climb through the window again and hearing her yelling profanities.

"I didn't do anything," she protested, "I didn't even know Blair was out there with you. Oh, shit, Dan."

"What?" he said, alerted by the sudden change of tone in Vanessa's voice. It had gone from glee to fear in .2 seconds flat.

"You need to get in here."

"Is she murdering them?"

"No… it's Jenny."


	6. Chapter 6

"Jenny!" Dan shouted through the party, not being heard over Blair's continuous stream of swears directed at Nate, who was buttoning his shirt, and Serena. "Jenny!"

Vanessa appeared by his side, camera still in hand. "She went over there. She didn't look good, Dan."

Dan found a locked door in-between him and his sister, "Jenny!"

"Dan!" he heard her yell from the other side with a slight cry. A muffled yell came out next.

Dan tried jingling the door handle again before running at the door full force with his shoulder. Nothing. Suddenly the party, including Blair, was silent and all eyes were on him. Dan ran at the door again, jumping into the door. Still the door didn't budge.

Blair looked at Nate and Serena and then at Dan and shouted, again, at Nate however this time it was one to get him to help Dan. The two of them now ran at the door, their shoulders bouncing off the wood.

"Who's in there?" Blair whispered to Vanessa as Serena tried to get the party back started so the eyes would no longer be glaring into Dan, who was in full protective big brother mode.

"His sister," Vanessa said, putting her arm down that held the camera. She didn't turn it off, but she wasn't directly filming the action anymore either. "With Chuck."

The two of them were suddenly shocked by a big crash as the door broke and Nate and Dan found themselves in the room. Chuck was holding one hand over Jenny's mouth and the other to her arm, pining her against a wall. Jenny, for her part, was trying to hit him with the other arm and kick him. He was too strong for the 17 year old after years at military training. He was trained fro combat, a young girl posed no threat to him. He let her go as he saw Nate and Dan.

"We were just having a little fun," Chuck said, shrugging as he leaned against the wall. "Weren't we, Jessie?"

"It's Jenny," she said, meekly, standing behind Dan.

"I promised you a good time and I wasn't going to disappoint."

Dan started for him but Nate pulled him back. "It's not worth it, man," Nate said into his ear. "His dad will put you in jail if you touch him."

"He should go to jail for that," Dan shouted. "He's sick. He almost raped her, Nate."

Blair entered the room, Vanessa at her side, and ushered Jenny out before coming back for Dan. Nate stayed in the room with Chuck.

"This is fucked up," Dan was practically shouting as Jenny pulled down her skirt and tried to wipe away tears from her face. "He's fucked up. How are you friends with him, Blair? Is this the reputation you were talking about, Vanessa?"

Both were silent and Dan put his hand on the back of his sister and led her through the party, Vanessa trailing silently behind. "Are you okay, Jen?" Dan asked, pulling his sister to him putting his hand protectively around her back. "Do you want to press charges?"

"No," Jenny said, quietly. "I mean, I'm okay, but I don't want to press charges. He could destroy us, Dan. You heard what Nate said."

"Who gives a fuck what Nate said? Justice should be served."

Vanessa bound in front of them, "And it can be." She held up her camera, "Let me put it online."

Dan said no at the same time as Jenny saying yes. Dan stared at her, "Really, Jenny?"

Jenny shrugged, "Let the bastard burn."

Vanessa smiled slightly, "Jenny, if you don't want to, we don't have to. I just think that if we can't go to the cops and if Dan can't hit him, at least we can ruin the good Bass name."

Jenny nodded, enthusiastically as she was building up her strength. Finally, Dan nodded as well.

* * *

><p>"Why is this thing so long?" Dan said, walking up behind Vanessa as she was editing the footage together. "It probably took only a minute to break down the door and then thirty seconds of confrontation."<p>

"It won't work if it's just the camera being held down and you can only hear things, Dan. You need to get the whole night. No one will watch a black screen. It needs to tell the whole tale."

"You're putting this as a party clip on YouTube," he argued. "You don't want justice, you want hits on your video."

"No," Vanessa said, turning to face him. "I want hits. I want this to go viral. I want people to watch the party immersed in how the other half lives and then I want them to be ripped back to reality. I want shock them, just like Jenny was when she was pulled into that room. I want them angry, Dan. I want them to want Chuck's head on a stick."

Dan sat on his bed, rubbing his eyes with his hands. "I don't know, Vanessa."

"Believe me, Dan. Trust me."

Dan nodded, "Fine. Upload it."

Vanessa nodded, hitting the upload button and then they sat, and eventually Jenny sat, watching as the video views climbed. They had help, of course, Vanessa had met some influential people in California purely by knowing where to be and when to be there and they tweeted the links out.

The counts were rising and so were the comments.

Dan wasn't allowed to punch him but he imagined this must have felt like a punch to the gut to wake up thinking you were invincible and to find out that your reputation and good name had been destroyed.

* * *

><p>Dan woke to his phone buzzing against his leg. His neck ached from the spot that he had fallen asleep against the wall, and he had to lift Vanessa's arm and Jenny's head to get off the bed. Stepping out of the bedroom, he looked down at the caller ID right before the call went to voicemail.<p>

Blair Waldorf

Before he could hit the button to call her back, the phone was ringing again. "Blair," he answered, stumbling into his kitchen and turning on the coffee machine.

"You humiliated me, Humphrey," Blair said, and he wasn't sure but it sounded like she was crying.

"What?"

"That video. You humiliated me."

"I did what?" Dan was stunned. The video was made for one purpose only and here Blair was yelling at him. Of course she would make this about her. Of course.

"Humiliated me. Do you not get service in Brooklyn?"

"How exactly did I humiliate you, Blair?" he asked, anger welling in his throat. "That video was meant to ruin Chuck Bass, everything else is-"

"Collateral damage?" Blair interrupted.

"I wasn't going to say that."

"Well it is. I'm collateral damage."

"Of course you're making this about you, Blair."

"I was there, Humphrey! I saw what happened and I feel very badly for your sister but we were going to deal with it. We don't let people just get away with almost raping someone, Humphrey. Nate nearly killed him in that room."

"That's not good enough."

"You would never have had a case, Humphery. That was justice served in our world. Chuck came out of there looking black and blue and instead you humiliated the person that did that for you. That nearly blinded his former best friend for you."

"Then Nate should pick better best friends."

"You don't get it, Humphrey. Vanessa used you, okay? She used you."

"What are you talking about?"

"She was always going to put that video online, Humphrey. Are you dense? What do you think she was filming for? Did you think she was going to put it in her own personal video collection? No, she was going to put it online or sell it to Chuck's dad to get it to not be on the internet."

Dan opened and closed his mouth, "She wouldn't."

"You're too fucking trusting, Dan. Vanessa got what she wanted and you can't even see it. She got a conclusion to her video that was going to be just about a party in New York and a stupid love… what? Quadrangle? Is that what you called it? Why didn't you just call it a fucking square!"

"You are being ridiculous, Blair," Dan said, his voice lowering into the phone.

He heard silence on the other line and started to say something before she continued, "You are so blind to people. Humphrey. You can't read any signals, it's pathetic. I sit outside in the fucking freezing weather, knowing you'll follow me and complain about my fucked up engagement and you don't even try to kiss me. And now you can't even see that your best friend just played you. She convinced you to go her route of justice, didn't even give you and your sister a night to think it over. Now it and my entire personal life and your pathetic love square musings are online forever."

"Blair, I-" he started before realizing he didn't know what to say. He could see Blair's point in everything. He knew Vanessa's look in her eye the night before, he knew deep down that the filming wasn't for class. He just didn't think she would swing this low.

"No, Humphrey, you don't get to talk. I don't give a shit about Chuck Bass and his reputation but you just screwed with mine… with Nate's… and that unforgivable."

"Blair-"

"Fuck you."

Dan heard silence on the other line and swore to himself before swinging around to see Vanessa, camera still perched in her hand. "Put it down, Vanessa." She obliged and started for the cabinet to get a mug. "No, I want you to leave."

"What?"

"Get out, Vanessa. I want you to leave."

"Why?" she asked, looking confused.

"Because you were always going to put that online, weren't you?" Vanessa looked down and Dan knew that Blair was right. "Do you think this is a game? How did you think this was going to end? With me thanking you for putting my love life online for everyone to see? And now you dragged Jenny into it instead of just going to the cops like normal. That's fucked up, Vanessa. More fucked up than I thought you could be."

"It's art," Vanessa argued. "Not the last part, I didn't mean for Jenny to get involved. That just happened. The rest of it- it's bullshit. You know that. You are better than that life, Dan."

"It doesn't matter, Vanessa. They're my friends. Or they were."

"I'm your friend!" she yelled.

"You were my friend, Vanessa. And now, now I want you to leave."


	7. Chapter 7

Dan opened the door of his dorm, struggling with his bags, on the first day back from winter break to see Nate shuffling around and shoving things in bags. "Hey," he said sheepishly, as he placed his bags at the bottom of his bed. "Going somewhere?"

"My father agreed that I should take advantage of a comfortable bed and home cooked meals. They are no longer forcing the college experience of living in a dorm on me. Congratulations, you got that single you wanted," Nate said, not even turning to look at Dan.

"That's not what I wanted," Dan protested, as he sat down in his desk chair.

"No, you wanted to steal my fianceé and when you couldn't went for more of my sloppy seconds. Smooth move, bro."

"That's not," Dan started, stumbling over his words. "That's not what I wanted, Nate."

"Oh yeah," Nate turned and Dan could see the hurt in his eyes. "That's what you said on that video. That you were in love with Blair and fucking Serena. Don't you think that's messed up? I thought we were friends."

"We are friends. I didn't realize it was going online at the time, Nate. I would have never done anything."

Nate nodded, "No, you wouldn't have because you're weak. You walk around judging us and thinking you are better than us because you had a slightly harder road here but when it comes down to it, you're just trying to be part of what we have." Nate looked down at his wrist to his watch, "I need to go, I have a car waiting for me outside. I'll come back later for the rest of my shit."

"Hey," Dan called out and Nate turned around, his bag slipping from the place on his shoulder, "you're still with Blair?"

"You think you know her because you hung out with her for a month? You don't know her at all because if you did, you would know that she wouldn't let me off so easily as breaking the engagement with me. She's never going to want you, man," Nate said, shaking his head. "You should get over her because if you think I'm mad, I wouldn't want you to run into her.

Nate shut the door behind him and Dan jumped on to his bed, resting his head on the bare mattress. He wasn't sure what he liked more, Nate being his roommate or his now empty room. Dan closed his eyes before hearing the door open again. Sitting up quickly, he was surprised to see Serena, and not Nate, looking at him.

"If you're looking for Nate, he just left."

"No, I know," she told him, coming over and leaning on Nate's bed. "I was looking for you."

Dan covered his eyes, "Look, I've already been chewed out by Blair and Nate and I would like to go through a few hours without getting yelled at again by you. No offense," he said, reaching out his hand. "I just, I've had enough."

He could hear Serena chewing gum and then her starting to laugh. "Do you think I care about that video, Dan? I mean, yes, I question your reasoning skills in deciding that was a good idea to put on the internet but I'm not here to yell at you."

Dan propped himself up on his elbows, "You're not?"

"No. I came to see if you were okay. I ran into Nate earlier and he told me about moving out and how pissed he was. I was just coming to make sure you didn't look like Chuck did when he came out of that room." Serena started to blow a bubble with her gum before popping it with her index finger. "Honestly, Nate doesn't have a real reason to be angry with you. I think it's more the fact that his parents can now see how he acts with his fiancee and their family ring. I don't think either of his parents have that great of YouTubing skills so he's fine."

Dan turned on his side to look at her, resting his head in his palm. "So you think they're overreacting?"

"Not Blair," Serena said. "I think Nate will get over it. He can't stay mad at things forever and selling a conniving roommate story to his parents got him what he wanted anyways, a plush living space at home. Blair, no, I don't think she's overreacting. I think you put a relationship she really throws her heart and soul into on blast and in made her look like a fool in the process. Partly because of me," she said, pushing her thumb into her chest. "I, obviously, haven't talked to her but I think she's also deflecting where her real anger should be directed at." Serena shrugged, pushing herself off the bed. "Anyways, that is my two cents and it doesn't really mean much, so…" she trailed off.

"Well, thanks for coming round," Dan said, awkwardly. "Serena," he said before she walked out. "I wasn't… I wasn't trying to use you after Thanksgiving."

"I think we were both using each other, Dan," she said with a wink. "See you around."

* * *

><p>Dan's computer starting ringing precisely at 10 PM and he could see Vanessa's name pop on the screen. They hadn't talked much, if at all, after he kicked her out of his family's apartment after the video went up but he was not at all surprised to see that she was going to attempt to keep up their Skype dates. Since his social calendar was back to cleared, he walked over to his desk and hit accept, watching as her face materialized on the screen.<p>

"Dan," Vanessa smiled, "I didn't think you'd answer. I thought I might as well try though."

"Yeah, well, I don't have much to do anymore on Saturdays… or any days. I've sort of lost all my college friends," he shrugged.

Vanessa shook her head, "You must have met people other than stuffy Blair and stoner Nate?"

He shrugged, "Not anyone that I really was friends with. It doesn't matter anyways. Gives me more time to read all the books I'm assigned for classed and work on my short story."

"You should think about making the short story into a novel. You're a great writer, Dan, and novels sell better."

"I don't want to sell in, Vanessa. I'm not trying to be a sellout," he said, slightly scolding her for what he thought was selling out by putting that video online.

"Oh, you mean become successful by doing things that you love?"

"Different strokes."

"Dan, stop being pathetic. Those people are horrible and I'm not going to apologize for doing my job and capturing the world as I see it."

"Then can you at least apologize to me for ending my social life?"

"Yes, Dan, if that will make you happy. I'm sorry I ended your prime social life with a bunch of awful, spoiled, rich kids. I'm sorry you won't be featured on Rich Kids of Instagram."

Dan started to laugh, "I accept your apology, Vanessa, but I will never let you film me again."

"That's fine. I've become a legend here. People are begging me to document their parties."

"Well, I'm glad you found that happiness. How's the weather?"

"Well, for one, not freezing my ass off like I was in New York. You could transfer?"

* * *

><p>Dan was bent over his book when he heard the dorm room door open, and he looked up in surprise.<p>

"Humphrey," came the cool voice from the brunette standing in the doorway. "I was hoping you'd be here. Have you seen Nate?"


	8. Chapter 8

"Did he leave you at a toga party again?" Dan asked, biting the top of his pen as he looked to Blair. Seeing the genuine look of panic on her face, he put the pen down and stood up. "Are you okay?"

"Your joke, even on a good day, would not be at all amusing," Blair said, rolling her eyes. "We got into a fight a few nights ago and I haven't seen, or heard from him, since."

Dan nodded, leading her into the room with a gentle hand on her back before closing his dorm room door. "Not to bring up sore subjects, again, but did you check with Serena?"

"Of course I checked with Serena, Humphrey. She was the first person I asked if she had seen him."

"Who else have you asked?"

"His friends, his drug dealer, some people I know he studies with," she said, rambling off a list. Dan was obviously her last resort. "Everyone but his parents."

"Why not his parents?" Dan asked, leaning against his bed as Blair got settled into Nate's desk chair. "I'm sure they would want to know if their son was missing."

"Well, I don't think he's missing," she admitted. "I just think he doesn't want to be found."

"Is that not the same thing?"

"No. I don't think he's in danger, Humphrey. He just is deciding not to be found right now. If I go to his parents, they'll know something is wrong with us and I don't feel like dealing with their questions. I would rather just find out where he went on my own, but I've checked all his favorite spots in the city and he's not there. I thought that maybe he would be hiding in the obvious place, here."

Dan shook his head, "Yeah, no. I haven't seen him since he was moving his stuff out last week or heard from him. I'm afraid I can't help you."

Blair stood and nodded, "I expected as much. I just figured that I should try before I resigned myself to going to speak to his parents and asking where he was." She turned back to Dan, "You don't think you could try to call him, do you? I think that maybe if he is hiding out somewhere, he'd most likely take your call than anyone else's."

"Why?" Dan asked, pulling his cellphone from his pocket anyways. "I'm pretty sure I'm the least likely person that he would take a call from."

"No," Blair shook her head, taking his phone from him. "You're the least likely person that I would ask to call him for me." Blair scrolled through his contacts before coming to Nate, "Here, take it. He'll hang up, if he picks up, if I start talking."

Dan pressed the phone to his head and heard the phone on the other side ring… and ring… and ring until it finally came to a voicemail. He lowered the phone and was about to end the call when Blair started furiously shaking her head.

"Leave a voicemail, you idiot."

Hearing the beep on the other side, Dan started spouting off some nonsense to the answering machine. "Hey, Nate, it's Dan. I guess you would know that from Caller ID. I just wanted to ask you about some of the stuff you have left here and if I could borrow your… uh… pens. Okay, well, let me know. Bye."

"Your pens, Humphrey? Borrow his pens?" Blair looked utterly disgusted at Dan's attempt to playing it cool and lying. "He's going to know something is up. Who calls to borrow pens?" Dan shrugged before his phone started ringing and Nate's name popped up. Showing it to Blair, she threw her hands up. "Of course he thinks pens are more important than I am. Great."

"Hello," Dan said, pressing the answer button and bringing a finger to his lips to get Blair to shush.

"Hey, Dan," came the reply on the other side. "You want to borrow my pens?"

"Yeah, man, they just look… uh," Dan stopped, he couldn't think of a good reason for pens to be what he called his estranged roommate about. "I was just wondering if you were coming back to get the rest of your stuff anytime soon, really. Where are you? Is that waves in the background?"

Nate took a minute to answer and Dan could hear muffled sounds from the other line, "Yeah, man. I just needed a break. I needed to clear my head so I flew down to St. Thomas for a bit. My family has a place here. Anyways, you can just chuck whatever I left there, unless you want my pens?"

"I would love to have a place on St. Thomas," Dan said, repeating the words so Blair could hear.

"You motherfucker!" Blair started yelling and Dan had to cover the mouthpiece with his hand. "That motherfucker has me worried sick and he's out sun bathing? How fucking typical."

"Dan? Are you with someone?"

"It's, uh, my sister. Jenny. You met her at that, uh, party. She's just watching some stupid thing on the television. Getting really intense about it, you know girls and their reality shows."

"Right. Well, I need to go. I'm taking out a sailboat with a couple people I met here. Tell Blair I said I'll be home in a week."

"Blair? What?" Dan replied. "Blair's not here."

"You think I don't know the sound of my girlfriend swearing? It's part of what led me down here. See you later, Humphrey."

The phone went silent and Dan looked at Blair and shrugged. "Well, that went well. He totally had no idea this was a set up or anything."

Blair was fuming and started to grab for Dan's phone, "Give it to me. Let me call him back."

Dan held the phone out of her reach, "Come on, Blair. He knows your here. He won't take another call. At least you know where he is?"

"It's not enough, Humphrey."

Dan noticed in the flailing of her tiny hands to grab the phone that Blair wasn't wearing a ring. Interesting. "Hey, I thought you were still together," he commented, instantly regretting it when he could see that Blair wasn't amused by his deductive skills.

"We are. We're just not engaged. He thought it was ruining the relationship, all the pressure, which is what we were fighting about." Blair grabbed her own phone from her bag and started tapping away furiously. "How much, do you think, a flight down there would cost super last minute?"

"A lot."

"If I didn't have massive things to do for school, I would go down there and murder him." Blair looked from her phone to Humphrey, "I don't know why I'm telling you this or why I'm still here." She grabbed her bag and hurried for the door, "Thank you for your help, Humphrey. That will be all."

Dan looked at the door as it closed, rubbing his temples with his index fingers. That girl was a tornado and he felt like a storm chaser. The closer he got to her, the more he could tell that he was going to be ruined in her wake.


	9. Chapter 9

A few weeks of radio silent from Nate, Blair, and even Serena later, Dan found himself, again, on Skype with Vanessa on a Saturday night.

"Go out, Dan" Vanessa commanded him, sipping on her tea as she looked into the screen. Dan shook his head and she continued, "You are, once again, wasting your college experience. I'm not there to ruin it for you, so what could possibly go wrong?"

"Oh, I don't know, I could run into Nate and he could be drunk enough to want to punch me," Dan said, shrugging.

Vanessa started to laugh, putting her cup down and pointing at him through the camera, "You are being pathetic. First, he doesn't seem the type… well, actually, I heard what he did to Chuck so maybe he is. But didn't you say Serena said he'd get over it? He's probably over it."

"Serena, who is also not talking to me, did say that. But then she went and disappeared as well so now I have no friends and no possibilities for friends since apparently, everyone makes up their mind about who they want to hang out with in the first weeks of college. The people I chose have blacklisted me."

"You sound like a whining child," Vanessa rolled her eyes. "Poor Dan, your life is so hard. Make friends in your classes. Go out and stumble into a party and make friends there. You are not making any friends sitting here with me."

"This is all too familiar, Vanessa," Dan noted. "Honestly, at this point, I just want to keep my head down and get through this year. Maybe next year, with a new roommate, my college life will be restarted. Right now, though, I'm content continuing to ace all my tests with all this study time. And I do have class friends, but they are just class friends. They're not people I want to go spend my nights with."

"Why not? Your sights set too high on the Upper East Side crew?"

Dan looked from the screen to his door that was opening, "Hey, someone's just let themselves in. I'll call you back. They probably think it's the bathroom." Dan closed his computer, standing, to see Blair Waldorf looking at him. "Blair?" he asked, starting to walk towards him. She looked terrible with puffy and red eyes being her defining characteristic at the moment. "Blair, Nate's not here."

"He broke up with me," she said, starting to cry. "Nate broke up with me."

"Not to sound insensitive, but why are you here then?" Dan questioned, as he stood a bit away from her. He wasn't sure if she wanted to come here to destroy Nate's things, which he had already put in a box in Nate's closet, or if she was here for something else.

"That is completely insensitive," she said, over sniffles. "I don't know why I'm here. I thought to myself, after I was shown the door from Nate's house, that I have no one to complain to about this. No one to listen to my crying self because I've pushed them all away in my quest to try to get Nate to love me again. And then I thought of you. You owe me, Humphrey. You started this and you will listen to me until I'm done talking about it."

"Oh… kay," he said, walking towards her before she flung herself into his arms and started to sob into his shoulder. "It's okay," he said, awkwardly patting her back with one hand. He gently started to lead her to his bed and she sat on it and Dan sat on the bare mattress on Nate's side. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Why are you so far away?" she asked, patting the spot next to her.

"Are you drunk, Blair?"

"Maybe a little," she confessed, rolling her shoulders back and then lying down on Dan's bed. "I was at Nate's house, and we were actually having a good time, and we were drinking and then he just said, 'Blair, I want to break up.' Like a solid breakup, not a break or a pause or a sabbatical, a break up. Nate and Blair are now Nate or Blair. People are going to have to choose sides, Humphrey, and I don't think they're going to choose mine. Despite the fact that he openly lusted after Serena right in front of me and despite the fact he was caught on tape making out with her at that awful party. It's just that everyone loves Nate. He's so easy going and wonderful and nice and people will choose his side and I'll be left with nothing."

Dan made little noise as he looked at the brunette across from him. She, who normally seemed so strong, looked so vulnerable. He thought to himself that he preferred the tornado, take no prisoners version.

"Do you have anything to contribute, Humphrey?" she asked, turning her face so it was looking at Dan instead of the ceiling. "Would you like to contribute to my pity party or is it a table for one?"

"No, I just…" Dan stumbled over his words, a common occurrence when Blair was around. "I'm not really sure what to say, Blair."

"You could say that he's an awful person and that you'll be on my side. Even if it's a lie, it would be nice to hear."

"He's an awful person and I'm on your side," he repeated back to her.

Blair sighed, "That was utterly unconvincing. Pathetic. You are an awful actor."

"Well, I do feel bad for you, Blair."

"Ugh, that's even worse. I don't want your pity."

"Did you just ask me to contribute to the pity party?" he asked, confused.

"Contribute, not join." Blair glared at him, "Why are you still on that side when I clearly summoned you over here? I am no longer your queen?"

"Were you ever my queen?"

"It's a joke," she said, patting again the slim spot next to her on the bed. Dan begrudgingly got up and climbed next to her, his back against the cool cement wall. "Better," she said, turning her face to him. "Do you want to know what he said to me?"

Dan shrugged. He wasn't sure that he did want to hear but he certainly didn't want to set Blair off. "I guess."

"He said that he needed to figure himself out before committing to marriage. I laughed in his face, Humphrey. Laughed in his face. I reminded him that he was the one who proposed, who asked his parent's for the ring and he just sat there dumbly like it didn't happen that way. I asked him why he was breaking up with me then, right there, and he said that having fun with me reminded him of how miserable we were on a day to day basis. Isn't that cruel? Assuming I'm as miserable as he was. I think it's cruel." Dan nodded. She turned to him, on her side and resting on her arm, "How long before he finds himself and commits to Serena, do you think? I give it a week, two weeks tops."

Dan shrugged and she hit him lightly in his stomach. "What was that for?"

"You're not being a good audience."

"What do you want me to do, Blair? I don't have anything to say. I don't want to say anything in case you get back together and then use anything I said against me again."

"I wouldn't do that," she pouted. "Okay, no, I totally would do that. Do you know how jealous he was in that month we were hanging out? So jealous. He kept saying things like how I seemed a lot happier hanging out with you instead of him." She batted her eyelashes at him, "I was you know." She put her hand on his chest and Dan started to get nervous. He liked her, sure, but he didn't like where this was going. "Happier when we were hanging out. I like how much you liked me. Like a puppy dog."

"Blair," he interrupted. "Maybe I should go back to the other side."

"No," she said, bring her face close to his. "I don't think you should. I think you're great just where you are." Blair kissed him and he could taste the alcohol still on her lips.

He pulled away quickly, "I think I am going to go sit over there." Dan pointed to the other bed, "You can stay here, if you want, but I am going to stay over there."

Blair grabbed at his arm, "Why?"

"Because you are drunk and sad and this, this would be a mistake. It would be taking advantage of you."

"I'm not that drunk," she protested.

"And I don't want to be a pawn in this game you and Nate are playing." Dan hesitated before pressing his lips to her forehead, "Maybe we can talk about this in the morning, but you should sleep."

"This doesn't make us friends, Humphrey," she muttered, closing her eyes. "This just shows the depth of how pitiful I feel. Just know that."

"Okay, Blair," Dan nodded, taking out an extra sheet and laying it on Nate's bed. "We're not friends."

"Not friends at all. And this never happened."

Dan climbed on to the bed, staring at the ceiling before hearing Blair's breathing get shallower as she fell asleep.

They were definitely not friends.


	10. Chapter 10

Dan stood in the middle of the room, drying off his hair as Blair slept on his bed. He was less surprised than he was last night when his door opened again, this time with a key. "Nate," he said, seeing the other teen standing in front of him. "This isn't want it looks like."

They were the last words he got out before Nate swung at him, connecting with his cheek. While the punch certainly hurt, and his cheek stung from the knuckles, Dan was thankful that it seemed as though Nate had only putt half his heart into it. "You slept with her, you asshole. You didn't even wait a full 24 hours before sleeping with my girlfriend."

Dan rubbed his cheek from where the knuckles hit and leaned on his bedside table, "I didn't sleep with her, first, and second, she's no longer your girlfriend." Nate was rubbing his knuckles and Dan looked at him, "Please don't punch me again." While Dan had taken classes when he was younger, he had only really mastered reflexes and not the actual fighting part.

"You didn't sleep with her? Then why is she in your bed."

"Fully dressed? And a sheet is on your bed? She just slept there. We didn't sleep together, literally or you know…" Dan trailed off. "She just came here looking for a," he was going to say friend but stopped himself remembering Blair's last few words before falling asleep, "confidant? Someone to listen to her?"

"I would have listened to her instead of her just storming off after breaking up with me."

"Wait," Dan said, scrunching up his face. "She broke up with you?"

"She didn't tell you?" Nate asked, squinting at Dan and trying to figure out if he was lying. "She broke up with me last night after dinner."

"She told me-"

"I can tell him what I told you," Blair said, sleep still in her voice as she turned over to look at the two of them. "Nate, did you punch him?" she asked, looking at Dan's face. "You should get ice for that, Humphrey." Dan nodded, walking towards his mini fridge and looking in to no avail for ice. "I told him that you broke up with me, which you did… last week."

"Last week?" Dan asked, turning back and raising his eyebrows. "He broke up with you last week."

Blair nodded slightly, rolling on her back and looking at the ceiling, "All I said to you last night was true, it was just from a different fight. I didn't think me breaking up with Nate would garner as much sympathy."

"She's playing you, man," Nate said, leaning against the desk and smirking.

"I can see that," Dan fired back, glaring at Blair. "What is this? Why am I being dragged into this? I just got punched in the face, Blair, and you are playing some sort of sick game."

Blair look hurt, "That's not it, Humphrey. I wasn't playing a game last night, I just stretched the truth. You were a perfect gentlemen about everything and Nate should be thankful that someone so gentlemanly is in love with his girlfriend."

"Truly, I am so thankful," Nate said, the smirk still plastered on his face. "So, Blair, can we go talk about this somewhere else? I wouldn't want to give the perfect gentleman any intel."

Dan rolled his head back, "Right, because I'm out to steal your girlfriend. I haven't done anything."

Dan could hear the bed creak as Blair got off of it. She patted Dan's chest as she walked to Nate, "Humphrey, you were great comfort last night." She winked at him as Nate threw his arms around her shoulder. "I'll text you, maybe, later and you can start groveling at my feet for my friendship back."

Dan closed his eyes, "Please, don't. I don't want any part of this."

* * *

><p>"I thought you didn't want any part of this," Blair said, smiling mischievously over her coffee. "Here I was thinking I would get no response. What a good little boy."<p>

She reached over and patted the top of his head and Dan grimaced, "I don't want any part of whatever sick games you and Nate are playing."

"We're not playing anything," she said, batting her eyelashes innocently. "We're just hitting a rough patch in our relationships and I would like other options."

"Am I the other option?"

"Humphrey, what did I tell you at Chuck's party? No one from our group would date someone from Brooklyn."

"But you would fuck someone from Brooklyn."

"I didn't say that."

"You implied it the other night," he countered, setting his mug down. "What are you planning?"

"I'm not planning anything besides maybe," she started, looking at him all doe-eyed, "maybe a little revenge. Two can play at the humiliation and public hook up game."

Dan coughed, "I'm not being part of this." He started to stand before she tugged on his sleeve and he sat back down. He really was like a trained dog. "I'm serious, I'm not going to be in the middle of some weird UES relationship drama."

"Humphrey, don't you see? You already are in the middle."

"How?"

"Because the only person Nate feels insecure about me hanging out with is you. I could make out with anyone and he would shrug it off. You're my Serena."

"Blair, I really don't want to be part of this."

She pouted, "You don't want to hang out with me?"

He sighed, "Blair."

"Humphrey."

"I think you make for an interesting friend and yes, I enjoy hanging out with you. However," he said, lifting his finger up, "I don't want to be part of you messing with Nate."

"That's fine. All you have to do is be your complete and lovely self. I'm not asking for anything besides friendship. It drives Nate crazy and that's all I need."

He was backed in to a corner. He wanted to be friends with Blair, he enjoyed the tornado that she was, but he didn't want to be part of her sick revenge plan on Nate. "Fine," he sighed, finally. "We're friends."

"Friends," she said, putting her hand out. Dan just looked at it. "Shake it, Humphrey. Shake my hand."

Dan rolled his eyes before taking her hand and shaking it, "This doesn't feel like friendship. It feels like I'm being used."

"We both get what we want. I get to torture Nate slightly for a little while and you get to hang out with me. Isn't that friendship?"

Dan nodded, "Whatever you say."

"See, you're learning," she said, giddy. "Now, give me your schedule so I can meticulously plan out the most strategic times to hang out."


	11. Chapter 11

"Blair," Dan said, looking up from his notebook at the brunette on the other bed. "You know, I really hate being used."

"I'm not using you," she said, without looking up from the textbook that she brought.

"You are using me to make Nate jealous or whatever that is," Dan said, throwing a balled up piece of paper at her.

Blair looked up, "I already told you that I was in a bad state of mind when I framed all that out to you a couple of weeks ago. It was in the heat of the moment after a lot of thinking and came after Nate punched you in the face." She chewed on the top of her pen as she tossed the piece of paper back at him, "Humphrey, do you not enjoy my friendship?"

"I'd enjoy it more if it didn't come with strings."

"It doesn't come with strings," she protested. "Look, I didn't realize that Nate was going to come storming in to claim his princess that day. I genuinely came to you because I was upset."

"But you lied," he countered.

"Okay, but who doesn't lie to make themselves sound better, Humphrey? I didn't plan on lying about it. I found myself coming here to see you and when I got here, I realized that I probably look like a crazy lunatic if I started crying about how I broke up with Nate. Plus, I had been simmering over the stuff that he said to me when breaking up with me for a week without anyone to talk about it with. I just delayed telling you that part and it happened to fall on the night that I came over."

"Blair."

"Humphrey."

"Dan."

"What?"

"My name is Dan."

"I know that your name is Dan," she said, hitting the pen against her knee, "but Humphrey has a much better ring to it. Like Humphrey Bogart. It's very Old Hollywood. Dan is so plain."

Dan sighed, "I still don't like this."

"What's not to like?"

"You are using me."

"Humphrey!" she said, sounding exasperated. "Nate being jealous is just an additional bonus to us being friends. It's a footnote. Like Humphrey and Blair are friends see footnote one and then the reader would go to the footnote and it would read that it made Nate extremely jealous and that made Blair very happy."

"Why does it need to have a footnote, Blair?"

"Because, Humphrey, Nate would be livid if he thought I just wanted to be friends with you."

"Why?"

"If he thinks I'm doing it just to make him jealous then he still thinks I'm in his back pocket and he can continue being the worst boyfriend in the world. If he thinks I'm doing it because I genuinely enjoy your company… he'll have a bigger problem with it. I don't really care what he thinks but if you want to avoid anymore black eyes, you should."

Dan banged his head against the wall of his room, "So you actually want to be friends?"

"Yes," she said, raising her voice slightly. "I have basically thrown myself at you at multiple occasions. How do you even question if I genuinely like being around you?"

"And yet you can't date someone from Brooklyn."

Blair rolled her eyes, "Well, Humphrey, I can't date anyone currently as I am currently with someone."

"But if you weren't, you couldn't date me because I'm from Brooklyn."

"Exactly."

"But you would if I wasn't from Brooklyn?"

Blair paused, "So what are you reading?"

"Blair."

"Humphrey." She put her text book to the side of her and looked at him, "What do you want me to say? Dan, you know I like you-"

"You do?" he interrupted.

"Do we need to rewind and have me repeat the fact that I've thrown myself at you multiple times? Can you follow along with the conversation?" Blair sighed, standing up as she started putting things in her bags. "I have somewhat developed feelings for you despite where you come from and it has proven to be quite irritating as I do stupid things like showing up at your door when I break up with my boyfriend, throwing myself at you and then get rejected. So, do I like you? Unfortunately I think, for the both of us, the answer is yes."

"Then why can't you just dump Nate?"

"I did, Humphrey."

"When?"

"That night, I told you this."

"But you're back together with him, Blair."

She nodded, "A technicality."

"Not a technicality. A hurdle."

Blair sighed turning around at him and walking towards his bed, grabbing the wad of paper and tossing it at his face. "If we broke up once, we'll break up again and maybe this time you don't turn the girl down."

"Maybe this time you don't show up drunk?"

"I make no promises but I'll take that suggestion into consideration. I have to go before I'm late." Blair started to walk out the door before turning back around, "Humphrey, I'm not using you. I will see what I can do about bending the rules about dating people from Brooklyn, if, and only if, Nate and I happen to break up."


	12. Chapter 12

"Hey, Nate," Dan said, as he shut the door behind him. "What are you doing here?'

Nate looked up from his book and waved, "The library is full of people trying to study and I didn't feel like awkwardly trying to find a place to sit. I hope that's cool with you." Dan nodded, sitting at his own desk and opening his notebook. "Hey, how's Blair, by the way?"

Dan looked back at him, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, how is Blair? I haven't really talked to her."

Dan was confused, "What do you mean?"

"We broke up?" Nate told him, leaning over his chair. "Don't you guys hang out regularly?"

"When?"

Nate scrunched up his face, "Dude, we've been broken up since that day I punched you in the face."

"Blair said you got back together."

Nate shrugged in reply, "Well, if we did, it's only in her mind. I tried, that day. We talked for awhile and I tried to tell her that we should get back together and she said she didn't want to. Since then, we've both kind of gone our separate ways. I kind of assumed you two were dating?"

"She doesn't date people from Brooklyn," Dan replied, trying to focus on his notebook and then giving up. "What do you mean you two have been broken up since then?"

"I mean that we haven't been together? I don't know how else to put it." Nate turned back to the book that he was studying from, "I don't know why she didn't tell you. I figured it was part of why she was breaking up with me. That and the entire St. Thomas fiasco. Apparently it's not a good idea to go to a tropical island in the middle of a fight with your girlfriend."

Dan gave him a semi grunt in reply, "Right. Broken up. Cool."

"I don't think you know what you're getting in to," Nate said.

Dan didn't think he did either.

* * *

><p>"You summoned?" Blair said, sliding in the chair across from him and delighting in the fact that there was already a coffee waiting for her.<p>

Dan nodded, biting the inner of his lip before starting to speak. "Are you and Nate together, Blair?"

Blair glanced up at him after putting sugar in her coffee and looked very guilty. "Define together."

"Are you dating Nate, Blair?"

"Well," she started, stirring the coffee maddeningly slow, "no."

"Since when?"

Blair shrugged, "Does it matter?"

"Yes, of course it matters. When did you break up?"

Blair sighed, "The night I came over and just never got back together."

Dan hit the table with his hand, "What game are you playing, Blair? I thought you were playing one game and now you changed the rules. What goes on in your head?"

"Quite a lot," she replied, sipping on the coffee and placing it down on the table. "You just assumed when we got coffee that day, speaking of which is it a coincidence that you summoned me here?, that we got back together."

"No," he said, pointing his finger at her, "you said you did."

"No, Humphrey, I said I wanted to make him jealous and that we were in a rough spot in our relationship and I believe I even said I wanted other options." She shrugged, "The rough patch never smoothed out."

"Blair, you've definitely said you were back together."

She nodded, "Yes, after that, sure."

"How is that not fucked up?"

Blair sighed, leaning back in her chair, "It might be. A little."

"A little? How about a lot? You've led me to believe you two were still dating."

"I just didn't want any pressure. After you just assumed we were back together, I realized it was easier that way."

"Easier for who?"

"Both of us, I think," she responded. "Probably me," she finally conceded. "It was easier for me. With you thinking I was off the market, and I already knew you would respect that, I could just kind of figure things out."

"What things?" he grilled her. "How was this easier?"

Blair put up her finger, "Just give me a moment, Humphrey. You see, I've been in a relationship for six years of my life to Nate. If I told you I was out of that relationship, I figured you would be all jumping at the chance to ask me out and I wasn't ready for that. So, by somewhat leading you on that I was together with Nate, I got to hang out with you with no pressure and I got to be single at the same time. It was the best of both worlds. And, to be fair, it really did drive Nate mad a bit. He's cooled off, though. That's good for you."

"When were you going to tell me?"

"What is this? An interview? I don't know, Humphrey. I'm telling you now, isn't that enough?"

Dan shook his head, "No, it's not."

"I understand that it's a bit…" Blair bit her lip, searching for a word, "unconventional, but I think it was for the best. We got to hang out without any strings attached or awkwardness and I got to figure things out."

"That's great for you, Blair, but it makes me look like a fool."

"Why?" she pouted. "Because I didn't sleep with you right away? Because I didn't jump at the chance to date you once I was single after six years?"

"No, because this entire friendship is built on lies and your weird game playing. This isn't a game," Dan told her, growing angry. "I'm not someone you get to fuck with for fun."

"I wouldn't say it was fun or that I was really fucking with you. It was a misunderstanding."

"It was a lie."

"Fine. I lied."

Dan nodded, standing up, "I'm going to go now. Enjoy your coffee."

"Where are you going?" she asked, standing up. "I edited the rules. Boys from Brooklyn can take me out."

"Blair," he started, "I don't want to go out with you. I think you're mad."

"Humphrey," she said, reaching out for his arm but he shrugged her off. "I wasn't trying to hurt you."

"I'm not hurt," he corrected her. "I just feel like you are this game master who changes the rules to suit her. If you wanted to be friends and not date, you could have just said that. I just don't get why you had to lie about it."

"Lying comes easier to me than truth," she confessed. "I promise, no more lies."

Dan looked at her, shaking his head, "I don't think I can do it. I think I need some time to think this through."

* * *

><p>Dan heard a small knock on his door later and opened it to find Blair, looking just as miserable as a few months ago when she showed up.<p>

"I think I got broken up with, Humphrey," she said, letting herself in.

"I thought you and Nate were already broken up? Is there another guy I don't know about?"

"No."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I'm not very good with apologizes," Blair started, "but I think that I owe you one. In my head, letting you believe that I was with Nate worked out very well for me. However, and this is a big however, I did not put myself in your shoes and really think about how you would react when you eventually figured it out or I eventually told you. I don't know, but I think I expected you to be thankful? I know, completely fucked up but…"

"Go on," he said.

"I just, I enjoyed having this no pressure situation. I wasn't trying to use you or have this go for so long but I kind of didn't figure out the how to tell you part? So, I am apologizing for being completely self centered and not letting you know what was really going on. I just, I wanted to hang out and not have to worry about dating and all of the stuff that came with it. And if you don't want to be my friend or anything more, that's fine. I think it's fine? I don't know. I just feel kind of awful about before and this whole thing and my heart, which I surprisingly have, made me come here and tell you all of this."

Dan paused before nodding, "Well, thank you."

"Thank you?"

"I don't think you're a complete sociopath anymore," he said, reaching for his door. "But I think you should go still."

Blair grabbed her bag and nodded, "Well, thanks for being a good audience. I'm completely mortified."

"Go," he told her. "And then knock on the door."

"What?"

"Just do it."

Blair left the room and Dan closed the door. He heard a gentle knock a few seconds later and he opened it again, "Hello. Who are you?"

"Blair?" she asked, confused. "Humph-"

"Blair, nice to meet you. I'm Dan," he said, holding out his hand. "Dan Humphrey."

"I know who-"

"I know, Blair. I'm giving us a fresh start. It's ceremonial."

She nodded, "Right then. Well, I'm Blair, as I said, and I'm very single but I come with heavy emotional baggage and a sometime hot tempered ex boyfriend and maybe some crazy tendencies. I'm trying to get that last part in check."

"I'm Dan. I am also very single. I don't come with that much emotional baggage but I happen to have a three strikes policy and I think you've already used two of them."

"I thought you said fresh start."

"I gave you a full strike," he told her. "It was nice to meet you, Blair. I need to get back to studying as finals are coming up, but why don't we grab dinner tomorrow?"

"As friends?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"We'll see."


	13. Chapter 13

"Am I off probation yet, Humphrey?" Blair asked, sliding in to the seat across from him at the library. "It's almost finals and you've been playing this charade game of friends for too long."

"I'm trying to study," Dan said, barely looking up at his notebook. "I need to pass with flying colors for my position in the writing class this summer to hold. Can you please not distract me?"

"I'm not distracting," she said softly before opening her own book. Dan glanced up and saw her looking at him instead of the book, "Why do you even want to do that writing class? Don't they offer it next year for you? Summer school is so high school, Humphrey."

Dan shook his head, "Well, if I can graduate sooner that means I save money on room and board and classes and it means I get all the essentials done so I can focus on the classes I want to take. Not all of us were born wealthy, Blair."

"Well, aren't you wasting the money on the class in the summer anyways? How is it a savior of your precious cash?"

"I stay at my apartment and don't have to pay for my dorm room," he told her before glancing down at his notebook. "Okay, starting now we have an hour before you can distract me again. Some of us have to get by more on our brains than our natural good looks."

"Are you calling me good looking, Humphrey?" she asked, hitting her pen on his notebook. "Humphrey, come on. The hour can start in a minute. Didn't you miss me all week?"

Humphrey shook his head, "It was very productive, to tell you the truth. I didn't have anyone begging me to take them out on a date."

"I'm not begging," she protested. "I'm simply offering up my company as more than friends for a night. Why are you resisting this?"

Dan looked up again, sighing, "Because you have one strike left. Do you really want to waste it?"

Blair closed her mouth in protest and shook her head.

They had been just friends, on Dan's insistence, since he found out that she and Nate were actually not a couple. It had been two months and Blair had been trying to get him to break his vow of friendship for at least the last month. He surprised himself with how his will was holding up, even when they were drunk at a party together once and she leaned in to kiss him. Dan wasn't so crazy to push her away but he did not let it get further. It was driving her crazy and he was enjoying it just a little.

* * *

><p>"I'm going to the vending machine. Do you want something?" she asked as she kicked him under the table. "My treat."<p>

"The only thing I want is coffee and they don't have vending machines for that here," Dan told her, bending down to rub his shin. "How are you so restless? Don't you worry about passing?"

Blair shook her head, "I have a fantastic memory, Humphrey. I also study through the year so it's not a last minute cram session before the test. If you were a better planner, you might not be so stressed."

Dan glared at her, "Well, I was a little distracted by my roommate's crazy girlfriend."

"I'm sure you mean crazily attractive," she said as she pushed her chair out. "I'll be back, watch my things."

Dan gave her a thumbs up before scribbling something down on a piece of paper. It wasn't that he was last minute cramming as much as he was last minute stressing. Dan had spent most of his year with his head buried in his school material so this should be coming easy to him but as he flipped through his notebook that day, he found he remembered less than half of it. He was desperate to get in to the summer program so he had 24 hours, less now, to jam it into his brain so he could write a cohesive essay on the topic his professor chose tomorrow.

No pressure.

Dan was so immersed in his notes that he didn't notice Blair came back until she slid the coffee she had retrieved under his nose. "I don't know your order so I got what I usually get for you. You're welcome."

He looked up, meeting her eyes and taking in how pleased she looked with herself, "Thank you, Blair." He took a sip of the steaming liquid before briefly making a face. "What is this?"

"Tea," she said, smirking. "It's better for you. Drink up."

Dan shook his head, laughing, as he raised his cup to her briefly. "You are one of a kind."

* * *

><p>Blair tossed a small piece of paper at him and Dan glanced up. It had been two hours since the tea and Blair had disappeared and reappeared more times than he could count with countless other snacks. "What?" he asked.<p>

"Read the note," she told him.

Dan unfolded the piece of paper seeing one word: France?

"What is this?" he asked, crumpling it back up and tossing it to her. "Is it some kind of restaurant?"

"No, Humphrey, it's a country."

"I mean, I know that. But why did you write it down on a piece of paper?"

"Do you want to go?" she asked, scribbling on her notebook. "I just talked to my dad and he asked if I wanted to go for the summer to see him and his boyfriend. Maybe we can use my last strike there."

Dan shook his head, "Summer program."

"Back up plan," she replied, taking a chip from the back and putting it in her mouth. "The program isn't all summer, is it? You can come for a week."

"Money, Blair."

She tossed the paper straight at his face, "Come on, Humphrey. You think I would ask knowing you already worry about money without a plan? My dad said he would gladly pay for a guest."

"I'm not a charity case."

"It's a trip to France, Humphrey. We can eat cheese and drink wine and get out of this city for a bit. I think the city is really dragging us down. Bad memories and all that." She fluttered her eyelashes at him, "Please. Think about it at least?"

"Do you know how crazy you sound? Inviting someone you've only known for a year to France so you can use a third strike?"

"We're friends, aren't we? And friends go on trips together."

"Not fully paid trips courtesy of the friend's father."

"I'm a special friend," she explained, tapping her pen on the table. "Think about it?"

Dan nodded, turning back to his notebook before looking up at her, "Blair, you haven't studied one thing since you got here. What are you doing here?"

"I already had most of my finals," she said, shrugging. "I just figured you'd want company and I had nothing else to do this afternoon." Blair glanced at her phone for the time, "But I actually have plans for dinner with my mom and step dad so I should probably get going. Think about France, Humphrey. I'm serious. You can still keep me on this weird probation period if you insist but we are friends and as friends I think you should say yes." Blair stood up and gathered her stuff, shoving trash in a bag and glanced at him, "And, Humphrey, you know all of that. I've seen you study almost every single day that I've visited your room. I think you should distract yourself instead. What time is your test?"

"1 PM tomorrow."

"I'm coming over after dinner. Leave the library, definitely shower, and eat something. You need to stop thinking about all of this or you're going to go insane."

Dan nodded, "We'll see. I really need to ace this."

Blair put her two hands on the table and leaned forward, "If you don't ace it, I'll personally bribe the professor of your summer program to let you in. Go home, Humphrey."

* * *

><p>Dan sat on his bed, his notebook still in his lap when the door opened. "Bla- Oh, hey, Nate."<p>

"Hey, I just came to get some last minute studying in. I can see you're doing the same thing," he said, holding up a notebook. Nate had indeed stopped sleeping in the room but had more and more frequently stopped by at random times. Dan questioned if it was really for studying or if he was just hoping to run into Blair. He had heard from Serena, when he ran in to her on campus, that Nate was having a surprisingly difficult time with the break up given his past behavior and that she had been cut off as though he was trying to reform.

"That's fine," he nodded. "Doing the same," he said, holding up his own notebook. "What time is your exam?"

"8 AM."

"Brutal."

An awkward silence filled the room until a knock came on the door. Dan got up to slide off his bed before Nate waved him off and opened the door. "Blair," he said, and Dan wished that he had jumped off the bed instead. "It's nice to see you. Aren't you a little hot in that jacket?"

Dan glanced over Nate's shoulder to see Blair in a trench coat and looking flushed. "Hey, Blair."

"Nate," she said before walking past him to Dan. "Dan, can I see you outside for a quick moment?" Dan nodded before sliding off the bed and glancing at Nate who looked dejected on his way out. Blair pulled the door shut behind them, "What is he doing there?"

"Studying?"

"Well, I can't distract you now," she said, pulling at the strap of her coat. "It's ruined."

"What is ruined?" Dan asked, raising his eyebrows. "I thought by distraction you meant watching the same movie over and over again. I'm sure Nate won't mind."

Blair shook her head as she loosened the knot on her coat, "That wasn't the distraction I had in mind."

"Then what was it?" Dan asked. Blair opened her coat to reveal lingerie. "Oh," he said, trying not to gape. "Well, then."

"Yeah, so I should probably go. This was a waste," she said, tying the coat back on as tight as she could. "Good luck on your exam." Blair turned around before Dan grabbed her wrist and slid his hand down, connecting his hand with hers. "What is it?" she asked, turning back around before Dan kissed her. He could feel her free hand find the side of his face as he let his hand find her lower back and pulled her towards him.

Dan pulled away, "I think that's the sexiest thing anyone has tried to do for me… ever."

"I try," she said, her cheeks slightly reddening. "Nate obviously had to ruin it by showing up."

"I think you're off probation," he told her, playing with the tie on the jacket.

"Well, I would hope so," she said, giggling lightly. "Look, I should go. I don't really feel like hanging out in that room with him. I leave for France in a couple of days so maybe we can hang out before I go."

Dan nodded, stepping back from her but still holding one of her hands in his. "I'll call you after my exam."

She slid her fingers from his and put her hands in her pockets, "And think about France. Just for a week. It will be fun."

"I will," he told her. "I'll see you later, Blair."

"Bye Humphrey," she called out as she turned and headed in the opposite direction down the dorm hallway.


	14. Chapter 14

"So, Humphrey, when are you coming?" Blair asked, and Dan tried to focus on her face instead of the bikini top that she had worn for their Skype conversation. "I need to know so I can book your ticket."

"I don't know, Blair," he said, running his hand through his hair. "I really don't think I can take the charity of your dad to fly me over to Europe and then freeload for a week at his chateau."

Blair rolled her eyes, "Humphrey, get over it. I was thinking the first week of August. When is your last day of your summer class? It was, what, two months? So end of July?"

"Beginning of August. We have time off for the Fourth of July."

Blair looked down and then back up, "Okay, so let's say the second week of August. Why don't you just stay the rest of the summer? All I do here is lay by the pool and eat cheese. I need a distraction."

Dan shook his head, "If I go, and I'm saying if, it can only be for a week. I need to go visit my mom for a week." Blair blew out air and he could see stray hairs move with her breath. "Okay, I'm looking at a calendar and I think that second week would work."

"So can I book it? I need your Passport number."

"I don't have a Passport. I've never been out of the country."

"Humphrey! Okay, look, you need to go to the Passport office tomorrow and get the expedited service so you get it in three weeks. If we wait for the entire process, then the ticket here and back are going to be sky high."

"If it's going to be a hassle, Blair, then we should just say it's not worth it."

Blair stared into the camera and Dan was a little unnerved by the piercing stare that translated even through the video call. "No, Humphrey. I am so bored that I am willingly hanging out one on one with my dad's boyfriend. I need a friend."

Dan nodded, "Fine. I'll go tomorrow."

Blair smiled and Dan could hear some voices in the background, "Look, I have to go. I'm going out to dinner with my Dad and then hopefully finding a nice bar where I can drink my weight in champagne. I want you to call me after you go to the Passport office so I know you went."

"Okay, mom."

"That is the least unsexy thing I've ever heard, Humphrey. Don't you dare ever call me your mother again."

Dan couldn't say anything back as Blair leaned in and clicked the button to end the call. She was still a whirlwind even with an ocean between them.

* * *

><p>"Dan," he heard a cheerful male voice behind him followed by a hand on his shoulder. Dan turrned around to see his old roommate, Nate, behind him. "Hey, man. How's your summer?"<p>

Dan nodded, awkwardly shifting the weight of his bag on his shoulder. "Oh, great. Just taking a couple of extra classes," he said, lifting the bag. "How's your summer?"

"Great," Nate said, smiling. "I'm actually flying out to Europe tomorrow to do a little backpacking with a couple of friends. Backpacking and blazing."

"Cool," Dan said although unable to muster up any enthusiasm. "Where are you going in Europe?"

Nate shrugged, "We're landing in Italy and I think we'll just go from there. We don't have return tickets booked so we can go wherever we want. I'm thinking ending up in France to go see Blair."

Dan tried to lower his eyes so it wouldn't give away his shock that Nate and Blair were apparently on good enough terms that Nate would go visit her. Dan wasn't kidding himself, he knew he wasn't dating Blair, but he was still surprised that in a few hours of video calls, Blair had never mentioned talking to Nate. "Right, that should be fun. When do you think you'll be there?"

"Sometime in August," Nate said, shrugging. "I want to get back in mid-August so I can do some sailing with my father."

Rich people, Dan thought. "Cool man… well, have fun."

"Maybe I'll see you in France," Nate said, slapping his hand on Dan's back a little harder than Dan would deem necessary for a friendly goodbye. So Nate knew Dan was going but Dan didn't know about Nate? Well, that was awkward for him.

"Right. Well, see you."

* * *

><p>"I didn't invite Nate to come visit me, Humphrey," Blair said, narrowing her eyes at the camera. "Are you serious? Why would I invite Nate here. I haven't even spoken to him in months."<p>

Dan nodded slightly but avoiding looking into the lens of camera. "Right."

"I'm serious," Blair protested. "I swear to you that I didn't talk to Nate. I don't really feel like I have to explain this because the idea of it is completely ridiculous but I don't want you to feel like I'm setting you up for a trap."

Dan shrugged. "Okay, Blair."

"Dan," Blair said, a slight whine coming over her voice.

At the sound of his first name, Dan looked up and met her eyes, at least in the best way he could seeing as he was really looking in to a camera. "I just- it was weird that he knew that I was going and in August."

Blair snorted, "Come on, Humphrey. Our parents are friends, they run in the same circles… everyone talks. I'm having a boy from Brooklyn come visit me in France… you don't think my mom is complaining about that? I'm sure she's going around in circles claiming my reputation is shot and I'm sure it's gotten to his parents and they've told Nate. Parents love me, especially the Captain."

"Maybe I shouldn't go? It will be so awkward to be there with Nate."

She made a noise that indicated disgust. "Do not pull that card, Humphrey. Your ticket is booked and I will see you in a couple of weeks. I'm not going to hear no anymore or any wishy washy shit. If Nate shows up, he can sleep in the guest house and hang out by himself."

"Okay," Dan said, his resolve building up. "I should go. Vanessa and I are going to dinner with Jenny tonight."

"Well, have fun. I'm going to go call my mom and complain about her lack of keeping her mouth shut ruining my potential love life. Bye, Humphrey."

Once again, Blair cut the video off before Dan could respond. His open mouth was probably response enough.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you want to go to France? I could take your ticket. Scratch out the Dan and write Jenny." Dan's sister sat on his bed watching Dan try and figure out what of his wardrobe would be most unlikely to stand out in France. "Dan, put down the black t-shirt. It has to be the tenth you've tried to shove in your suitcase and you might want to use the space for maybe, I don't know, colors?"<p>

Dan threw the t-shirt at his sister as he glanced over his luggage again. He was positive that he was going to forget something. He had already gone through the list that Blair had sent him (including some food that she missed from the states) and it seemed to be fine, but he was still worried about everything. Especially since Nate had posted on his Facebook that he was arriving in France tomorrow which meant one day before Dan.

"I'm not sure Homeland Security would let you through with my name crossed out," he said, as she folded his shirt for him. "Although, you might be an asset if you can fit in my luggage."

Jenny laughed as she crawled over to the bag and sat on top of his clothes, "Perfect fit! I guess I'm coming."

"I don't even know what to talk about with Blair's dad or his boyfriend or Blair… or Nate, if he really goes."

His sister rolled her eyes as she curled up against the clothes and started to shut the top of the luggage, "Just be your ever so charming, slightly depressing, mostly awkward self. They'll love you. And if they don't, fuck them."

"Very good advice," he said, giving her a thumbs up. "That sounds like a perfect plan."

"That's what I'm here for," Jenny said, struggling to now crawl out of the suitcase. "It's just a week and your in France. Just drink a lot of wine and woo your weird internet girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," he corrected her.

"Yet," she countered, finally sitting back on the bed. "No girl spends hours of her summer in France Skyping with someone if she doesn't want to… you know."

Dan felt his cheeks flush, "Yeah, well, her ex-fiance is also going to be there."

"You need to get over that," Jenny said as she peered into his bag. "And this shirt. You need to get over this shirt." She took the shirt in question and held it up before tossing it in a giant pile that she had already labeled as clothes that couldn't cross the ocean.

Dan reached in the pile and pulled it back out, "Hey, I actually like that one."

"Dan, you can't wear a t-shirt for Dad's band in France. You aren't really that lame, are you?"

* * *

><p>Dan walked through the airport, struggling to keep his bag upright. Blair had said that she was waiting outside for him, not wanting to bother with the airport hello, outside of a car. Dan stepped out into the fresh air and took a deep breath. Funny, France seemed to smell a lot like New York.<p>

"Humphrey," he heard a familiar voice to the side. Blair was standing, holding hands, with a very tall, very good looking gentlemen. They started to walk towards him and the man she was with let go of her hand and took Dan's bag from him. He heard a slight accent as the man said hello. "Please meet my new boyfriend," Blair said, pointing to the man.

Dan couldn't see himself but he was sure he looked crestfallen. At least it wasn't Nate, he told himself.

"Oh my God, you believe me?" Blair started laughing and the man shook his head. "It's my dad's boyfriend, Roman. You think I would come pick you up from the airport with a boyfriend?"

Dan shrugged, trying to find his composure. "I don't know. It does seem like something you would do."

"I told her not to do it," Roman said, opening the back door of the car for Dan. "She insisted."

"I threaded him with the fact I know he dyes his hair and my father doesn't," Blair said, smirking. "Anyways, you look awful."

Dan scoffed, "Thanks, Blair."

"Well, I mean, it's what time in New York? 4 AM? You just look tired. Like a poet, except probably less talented."

"Again, thank you," he said, laughing slightly.

Blair put her hands on either side of his face, "Your breath probably smells to like when you first wake up."

Dan raised his hand to cover his mouth and Blair moved her hand to push away his. "What are you doing?"

"Just shut up, Humphrey. Don't ask questions." She leaned in and kissed him and Dan, despite his fatigue, felt like he just got an energy boost. They both pulled away when they heard the sound of the horn from the car. "Okay, climb in. I hope you don't get car sick because Roman is an insane driver."

* * *

><p>Dan felt something poking his side and he covered his face, "Five more minutes."<p>

"Humphrey," he heard before he remembered where he was. He seemingly jumped up and took in his surroundings, he must have fallen asleep on the ride from the airport to Blair's dad's house. "You can sleep when we get inside but you need to get inside. Unless you want to sleep in the car."

"No, a bed sounds nice."

"Who said anything about you having a bed?" Blair said, laughing. "I'm kidding."

Dan nodded, wiping his eyes. "Right, well, I could probably sleep anywhere right now. I didn't sleep very well on the plane."

"Sorry that I had to get you coach, your booking was last minute."

"That's not what I was saying," he said, climbing out of the car and blinking to adjust to the sunlight. Dan looked around at the house, which was massive, and the yard, which was massive, and the glistening blue pool. "This is amazing."

"I know. Who knew when my parents got divorced I would get in a built in fake boyfriend and an amazing house in France?" Blair put her hand on Dan's upper back and started to steer him to the house. "Now, don't be shocked but Nate is here. He is staying in the guest house but my dad told me I had to at least talk to him. It's super awkward for all of us, mostly me."

Dan nodded, too tired to feel self conscious about it.

As they entered the house, Dan was stunned at the gorgeous interior. This was not his comfort zone at all. And his stomach dropped even more when he took in the sight of Nate who was joking with Roman and Blair's dad.

"Dan," Nate said, overly cheery. "It's great to see you." He strode towards him and embraced him.

Dan patted Nate's back, "Right. You too."

It was going to be a long week.


	15. Chapter 15

Day One

"Do you want any coffee, Daniel?" Blair's dad, Harold, asked as Dan stumbled into the kitchen the next morning. He had taken a brief nap in the day and then had dinner and went back to bed. He finally woke up at 5 AM France time and had been up since. When he heard some moving outside his room around 7 AM, he finally put on a shirt and exited his room. It was just him and Harold, who he had briefly said hello to the other day, in the kitchen.

"I would love some coffee, Mr. Waldorf," Dan said, nervously sitting down on the stool in the kitchen. "Thank you, again, for this trip."

Harold shrugged, "Anything for my Blair Bear, and please, call me Harold."

Dan smiled at the nickname, "If you don't mind, I think I'll stick to Mr. Waldorf. My dad taught me respect my elders at a young age."

Blair's dad shrugged, "Elder?" He looked down at himself and Dan followed his eyes. For however old he was, Dan would agree that Harold Waldorf was a very handsome man. "Whatever you want though, Daniel."

Harold placed a cup in front of Dan and Dan smelt the bitter liquid before taking a very satisfying sip. "Thank you so much."

"It's nothing. Just a little coffee."

"I meant, again, for everything," Dan said, sipping his coffee. "I've never been out of the states. I don't even know if I've been outside of the eastern United States."

"Well," Harold shrugged, leaning against the counter, "everyone needs to see the world and get cultured. What is your major in college, Daniel? How did you meet my Blair Bear?"

"I'm an English major," Dan said, placing his cup down. "I, uh, met Blair through Nate actually. We were roommates at NYU."

Harold nodded, "I have to say, I'm a very big fan of Nathanial. When Blair told me he was surprising us with a visit, I was very excited. She was very quick to tell me that he fell out of favor with her," he shrugged, "and I guess that's life. I am rooting for them to reconcile however. They would make me very good looking grandchildren."

Dan tapped his fingers on the counter and tried to figure out what to say.

Harold seemed to notice the awkward silence, "Well, I'm sure you are also a very nice gentlemen."

"Thank you," he replied, pushing himself off the stool. "I think, uh, I'm going to go back to my bedroom and maybe read for a bit." Harold nodded without a word. "Well, thank you for the coffee, Mr. Waldorf." Dan was backing out of the kitchen, "It was really nice to talk to you this morning."

* * *

><p>Day Two<p>

Blair looked spectacular in her bikini, Dan noticed and tried not to stare as both Roman and Harold were also lying by the pool. She walked over, dropping her towel on the chair next to Dan's and sitting down. "I think we should go out tonight, Humphrey. Roman says he knows a pretty good bar in the middle of town that we can walk to."

"That sounds good," Dan responded, looking from his book to Blair. "Where's Nate?"

Blair shrugged, "Probably sulking in the guest house. He had the nerve to complain to me that I was ignoring his very romantic visit, that he came all the way here to see me and I wasn't paying him any attention. Boo hoo."

Dan glanced at Blair's father who was staring at them, "Maybe you don't want to say that too loudly?"

"Why? I don't care if he hears me."

"No, your dad," Dan said. He hadn't told Blair about the awkward morning conversation from the day before as Harold had insisted on spending every minute with him and Blair as he showed them around town. "I think he might be a fan more of Nate than maybe someone from Brooklyn that he just footed the bill for to come over here."

"Well, I'm a bigger fan of my mother than Roman so we both have to get used to disappointments." Blair stood, "I'm hot. Do you want to come in the pool?"

Dan nodded, tossing his book to the side. "Yeah, it's very warm out here."

"That's not why I'm hot," Blair said, raising her eyebrows before spinning around. Dan followed her into the pool, trying to find his footing in this weird flirtatious relationship they had. "Daddy," she called, floating in the middle of the pool. "Don't you and Roman have things to do this week? We don't need a chaperone."

Dan looked away, trying to convey to Blair's father that he had nothing to do with her brashness. He could still feel Harold's eyes burning into him even as he tried to look his most innocent.

"I have the whole week off, Blair Bear," he said, pushing his newspaper down. "We wanted to spend time with you."

Blair huffed, "Daddy, I'm here for another two weeks. Dan is only here for a week."

Roman turned to Harold, "She's right. We should give them their time, Harold."

"I'm not giving my teenage daughter time with her boyfriend."

"I'm not-" Dan started to say he wasn't her boyfriend. Blair glared at him. "I mean, I'm just… I have nothing to say."

"Daddy, you practically pushed Nate and I into a room when he got here and then disappeared for hours. Stop trying to act like you are worried about my modesty." Blair swam over to the edge where her dad and Roman were sitting near and splashed water towards his direction. "We are out in the middle of your backyard. You can see us even from the kitchen. Please stop hovering."

Roman stood up, "Come on, Harold. We should go into town and buy some things for dinner. Let them be."

Harold puffed out air, "Fine."

"Love you, Dad," Blair said, swimming back near Dan. As soon as they were out of earshot and eyesight, she wrapped her arms around Dan's next and rested on his back. "If I don't tell him to leave me alone this morning, he will spend the entire week pretending like he's a cool dad and just wanting to hang out. He'll grow to like you. Roman already does and he practically does whatever Roman says."

"I don't want to make it seem like I'm ungrateful by kicking him out of his own backyard," Dan said, holding the back of her knees as he waded through the water.

* * *

><p>Day Three<p>

Dan woke up, his head feeling like it was about to explode. He could barely remember what happened last night but he could tell that whatever did involved a lot of liquor. He rolled over to his side and covered his eyes, pulling the blanket over his head. He could hear the door open and the sound of light footsteps in his room.

"Dan?" Blair's voice came and for the first time since he met her, she seemed unsure.

Dan grunted in return.

"Oh, thank God. I thought you died last night. I had to call Nate to carry you back," she said, climbing over him to put herself between him and the wall. "You need to build up your drinking tolerance."

"What happened last night?"

Blair started to laugh, "You might be better to not remember it."

"Nate carried me back?"

"Carried? Dragged? What's the difference?"

Dan groaned, "Did your dad see me?"

"No," she said, lightly running her fingers over his back. "But I'm sure Nate will tell him all about it. Dan, I've honestly never seen someone throw up that much. I wasn't sure if I should be impressed or disgusted."

"Blair," he moaned. "Don't tell me. I'm mortified if I got sick in front of you."

"And basically the entire club," she said, laughing. "It's fine. Everyone gets sick sometimes. At least you have good aim and got it on Nate's shoes."

Dan pulled the sheet over his head and turned so his back was facing her. "How can you drink so much?"

"I've been drinking since I've been in double digits," she told him, continuing to rub his back. "I'm used to it. I didn't realize that you would try and keep up. It was fun until you started puking."

"Stop saying it," he said, squeezing his eyes shut. "Did I ruin my chances?"

"Dan, I lied to you about continuing to date Nate and you're worried if a little sickness is going to throw me off? Come on. I've seen Nate much worse than that."

"Ooo," Dan said, "tell me about that."

Blair started to talk about adventures with Nate when they were younger and Dan fell asleep to both that and her fingers on his back.

* * *

><p>Day Four<p>

"Dude, you were so wasted," Nate said, laughing as he leaned back in a lounge chair outside of the pool. It was near dusk and the three of them had all been sitting around the pool since noon. "It would have been super funny if Blair hadn't been so worried that she killed you."

Dan tried to laugh but it came out seeming, as it was, very forced. "I guess I'm not made out for Europe style drinking."

Blair reached over and squeezed his forearm, "Don't worry about it. Even Dad was worried about you when you stayed in your room all day yesterday."

"Great. If he didn't like me before, he certainly doesn't like me now."

"Just wear a v-neck," Nate said and Blair turned her head and glared at him. "It was a joke, Blair, just a joke."

"It doesn't matter. He will like you if I like you."

"Dinner is in thirty minutes," Roman called out from the door.

Dan stood up, feeling his skin burning from the sun all day, and grabbed for his towel. "I'm going to go shower," he said, looking at the two of them.

"Me too," Blair said, standing and following Dan into the house. She tugged at his towel, "Come with me."

"Blair," Dan hesitated, looking around the corner to where Harold and Roman were making dinner together. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I do," Blair told him. "You need to loosen up, Dan. It saves water."

Dan placed his hands on her shoulders, "Maybe when we're back in New York and I'm not resting on your father's good graces to keep a roof over my head."

Blair rolled her eyes, "You are no fun."

At dinner that night, Blair rested her hand under the table on Dan's thigh and he had been squirming ever since she placed it there. He was struggling to pay attention as she made circles with her index finger on his inner thigh. "Daddy, did you know Dan graduated at the top of his school for high school?"

Harold glanced at him, "Very nice. I do appreciate high academic honors. Have you ever thought about a more realistic career, Daniel? You could go to law school if you have good enough grades."

"I want to be a writer, sir," Dan said, pushing around his food on the plate. "I think law school might be a little bit of distraction. I also don't have a great sense for arguing,"

"He's a really good writer," Blair confirmed, taking a sip of her wine. Dan glanced at her and she shrugged innocently. "I read a bit in your notebook."

"Well, only some writers ever make any money, Blair Bear."

"I think I'll be much happier with being a writer than a lawyer," Dan said then holding up a hand, "not that there is anything wrong with being a lawyer. I'm just not the type that would be good at it."

Harold just nodded, taking a mouthful of food and Blair removed her hand from his thigh. He wasn't sure if he had turned off Blair with his answer about just wanting to be happy or if she was losing her steam from the tension in the air.

"Well," Nate said, breaking the awkward silence. "I would just like to say that I'm going to head out tomorrow."

"Why?" Harold said, dropping his fork. "We're having a lovely time hosting you."

Nate shrugged, "I think I'm ready to move on from Europe and move on to sailing. A little ocean air might clear my head."

"I think that's a great idea," Blair said. "Let's all raise our glasses to Nate's self awareness."

"Blair," Harold said, glaring at her. "Well, I am very disappointed to see you leave. Roman and I will drive you to the airport and then we are going to spend a few days in Paris, we think."

Blair smiled at her dad and then back to Dan and he could feel that neither of these deliciousns had come solely from the person that announced them. Blair looked like all of her scheming was coming to a head and she looked very pleased with herself.

* * *

><p>Day Five<p>

"It was nice to see you, Nate," Dan said, awkwardly rocking on his toes outside the car. "I'm sure I'll see you around campus."

Nate nodded, and looked around where Blair was in a heated discussion with her dad and Roman about something, and stepped forward. "Look, I'm sorry I've made things weird between us."

Dan shrugged, "It's whatever."

"No, I've acted like a complete asshole lately like Blair is my property and I came here storming in like I was going to save the princess from an ogre."

"I don't think I'm an ogre," Dan said, protesting.

"I think I was the ogre," Nate said, laughing. "I think Blair was right when she broke us up and it took really and truly losing her to realize that. I don't think she's playing a game with my head anymore." Dan nodded and they gave each other a typical bro-hug. "I hope we do see each other around, Dan. You're a good friend. And hopefully good for Blair. After the shit I pulled last year, she deserves it."

Dan clapped him on the back as Roman and Harold turned back around to them. "Ready, Nate?" Roman asked, sliding into the driver's seat. "See you in two days, Dan, when we will be driving you back to the airport."

Nate nodded and gave Dan a last final wave before giving Blair a hug and sitting in the back seat.

As they drove away, Blair and Dan both waving at the back of the car, Blair tugged on Dan's shirt. "Come on, Humphrey," she said, pulling him towards the house. "We have two days and then we won't see each other until September where I am sure I will be very busy with my Ivy League schooling."

Dan let himself be pulled, getting led to Blair's bedroom which he had only seen once before during the full house tour he got the first day. "How much did you have to pay your dad to leave?"

Blair laughed, pulling him over and laying on the bed and pulling him on top of her. "He was practically stomping his foot like a bull before he went with Nate. He was trying to say it was improper for me to say goodbye at the drive way and how I should come with them to Paris." Blair pulled the hem of Dan's shirt up and over his head. "But they're gone and the house is ours and you are mine."

"Am I?"

"Are you want?"

"Yours?"

"Do we really need a label?" she asked, and Dan could feel her fingernails on the bare skin of his back. "If so, well… I don't Skype every day with just friends."

"Good," he said, kissing her collarbone. "Me either."

"Good," she replied. "Come on, Humphrey. We have a lot of lost time to make up for."

* * *

><p>Day Six<p>

"Here's to your last night," Blair said, lifting up her wine glass. "And a very enjoyable week for the both of us, I hope."

"I had a very great time," Dan said, raising his glass. "Even if your dad doesn't like me."

"You need to get over that. He just loves Nate and he'll get over that." She took a sip from her wine and squeezed his knee under the table. "I like you and Roman likes you and majority rules in this house."

Dan smiled, "Well, thank you for inviting me."

"Thank you for coming," she smiled, leaning over the table to give him a brief kiss. Dan rested his hand on the side of her face, entangling his fingers with her hair. "You know, I've never had sex in the bathroom of a very nice restaurant in France."

Dan nodded, "Me either, but I think we're going to have to keep it that way."

"Why? You need to be more adventurous," she said, rubbing his thigh. "I can't believe I'm the one trying to get a guy to take me to a bathroom."

"Well, I am very unique."

"And difficult to get to do anything fun." She leaned over and kissed him again, "It's our last night, Humphrey."

Dan kissed her cheek, before sliding himself back in the chair. "Well, let's eat fast then,"

Blair raised her eyebrows, "Okay. But when we get home, I get to choose where."

Day Seven

Blair's arms were wrapped around his neck and Dan was kissing the side of her head. "Are you sure you want to leave? My dad would love to shell out more money for his favorite college student from Brooklyn."

"What a specific category," Dan said, pulling away from her.

"It was the only one I could think of that you would top," she laughed, leaning in to kiss him.

Dan kissed her briefly back before pulling away to see Blair's father looking on with disapproval. "You'll be back in New York soon, Blair," he said, hugging her. "And I think it's about time you get a tour of Brooklyn."

Blair stepped away from him and Roman came to give Dan a goodbye hug and then Harold took his place. Dan wasn't sure where to look but he didn't want to look at the disapproving face of his girlfriend's father.

"Thank you, again, Mr. Waldorf," Dan said, putting out his hand. He could feel the firm grip of Harold's hand take his. "I've had a great time."

"I'm sure you have, Daniel," Harold said pulling him into a hug. Dan could hear Harold start to whisper furiously into his ear, "If you hurt my Blair Bear, I will fly to New York and personally kill you. I'm not sure what she sees in you but she has exquisite taste and I will have to trust her."

Dan pulled away awkwardly, "Well, thank you. I don't think I'll give you any reason to kill me, but I'll make sure to try extra hard just for that threat."

Harold smiled, "Good boy." He walked backwards and turned to Blair, "He's not so bad, Blair. I think Brooklyn Boy might just pull off the upset."

Blair rolled her eyes, "Whatever, Daddy." She stepped forward again to give Dan one last hug. "See you in September, Dan."

"See you in September, Blair."


	16. Chapter 16

"Dad," Jenny called from the couch, "Dan's doing it again. He's making that weird smile and it's creepy me out. Make him stop." Her leg jutted out and her foot came into contact with Dan's side. "Seriously, you've been such a freak since coming back from France. It's been almost a month, aren't you over it?"

"Come on, Jenny," Rufus said, smiling from the counter. "Dan's in love, let him have his honeymoon stage."

"He's already had his honeymoon," Jenny said as she rolled her eyes. "Can't he be moony in his bedroom? Does he have to bring out his weird grin when we're hanging out as family."

"I'm not in love," Dan protested, as he looked at his phone. Blair's plane was set to land any minute and he was waiting for the crucial text message to tell him to come over, or to meet her somewhere, or anything. He tapped his leg impatiently as Jenny continued to dig her heel into his side. Finally, he swatted at her leg, "Stop, Jen."

"Stop, Jen," she mocked, sitting up straight. "Aren't you supposed to be moving in to your new dorm room this weekend? Why are you still taking up Dad and my space?"

"Next weekend," he said, pressing the home button on his phone again. "And I live here too, you know."

"Which is a shame because I have big ideas of making your bedroom into an art studio. Dad said I could if you moved out permanently."

"Dad," Dan complained, throwing his hands up.

"I said when you moved out, Dan," Rufus said with a chuckle. "That won't be for a long, long time, I am sure."

Dan's phone started to light up but he was disappointed to see Vanessa's name instead of Blair's. Dan stood from the couch and made his way to his bedroom.

"Oooh, Dad," Jenny called out, "he needs his privacy."

"Hello," Dan answered the phone, covering the mouth piece so he could yell to Jenny that it was Vanessa. "Vanessa?"

"Hey," came the voice from the other side. "I was hoping you were free to get together tonight. I'm leaving in the morning. Short notice but one of my professors from last year is doing this video project and reached out to his top students to see if they would be interested."

Dan took a sharp breath in, "Yeah, I would but-"

"Blair?" Vanessa answered for him, sounding disappointed. "That's fine. Just wanted to see if you were free but if you're not, it's whatever. I should probably pack anyways."

"No, it's fine," Dan said. He technically had no plans, just plans that he had made in his head. "Let's hang out. Want to get dinner?"

"At the sushi place near your place?" Vanessa said, her voice becoming more cheery. "That sounds great. Ask Jenny if she wants to come to."

"Yeah, I'll her know. See you at say 7?"

Dan hung up the phone and just as he did, it started to ring again. Blair. Dan rubbed his temples, trying to figure out how to tell her that he had made plans already for the night he knew she was returning. "Hey, Blair," he said, sitting on his bed.

"Dan," Blair said, her voice sounding strained. "I just landed. I know we kind of talked about getting together tonight but I am so tired. Some couple thought it was a good idea to bring their barely out of the womb child into first class and it cried the entire time."

"It?"

"I can't tell if it's a boy or a girl, Humphrey, and I wasn't going to get close enough that I could tell for sure."

"Don't they usually color code them?"

"I don't know, Humphrey," she said sounding exasperated. "Maybe they were progressive parents. Look, I'm really sorry, but maybe we can get together tomorrow?"

"That's fine," Dan said, relief flooding his body. "I told Vanessa I would get dinner with her tonight, she's leaving tomorrow."

He knew it was the wrong thing to say as he heard Blair take a sharp breath in, "You already made plans?"

"Tentative plans," Dan tried to cover his tracks. "Just place holder plans."

"I've suddenly found a burst of energy," Blair said, sounding annoyed. "Where's dinner?"

"Blair," Dan said, trying to figure out how to get himself out of this in the best way. When he realized he couldn't come up with a lie or excuse fast enough, he gave her the details.

"See you at 7, Humphrey," Blair said coolly.

* * *

><p>"She seems like a handful," Rufus said, pulling Dan back into the loft as Blair and Jenny made their way to the elevator. "Are you sure she won't distract you from your studies this year?"<p>

Dan nodded, "I managed to pull through last year, Dad. And she's just tired. She flew in from France today. Landed at 4, which is 10 PM France time."

"Right," Rufus said, nodding. "Well, good luck."

"Why good luck?" Dan asked.

Rufus laughed, "I think you are in over your head, Dan. She didn't come here, I don't think, to spend time with you but to mark her territory."

Dan tried to laugh, "She's not a dog."

His dad just patted his shoulder before showing him the door, "As I said, good luck."

* * *

><p>"So, Blair," Vanessa said, trying to fill in the awkward silence that had taken over the dinner conversation. "How was your trip?"<p>

Blair smiled, squeezing Dan's thigh under the table just a little too hard for his liking, "It was great. Especially when Dan visited."

"I'm sure," Vanessa responded. "He's great company. You know, we've been friends since we were kids. Ever since I moved to Brooklyn really."

"How sweet," Blair said, giving her a smile that even Dan could point out as a fake. "How was your summer, Vanessa?"

"It was great," Vanessa said, reaching for her drink and taking a long sip. "I hung out with Dan a lot."

Dan could feel Blair's nails digging into his jeans now and felt Jenny's foot kick his shin from across the table. He suddenly comprehended why his dad had said good luck to him. He was in the middle of some kind of ritual between Vanessa and Blair, both trying to state their dominance over him. He felt like a helpless part of the conversation, like an animal in a cage at the zoo. When he used to fantasize about women fighting over him, he had never factored in to the equation the awkwardness he would feel when he was forced to sit through it.

"You know, we just hung out as friends doing friendly things," Dan stuttered through his sentence and he could see Jenny roll her eyes from over the table. "Just friends," he repeated.

"I'm sure she got it all on camera," Blair noted. "She sure does love to document things."

"I'm right here," Vanessa protested, narrowing her eyes at Blair.

"That's in the past," Dan interrupted. "We're all over it. Right?" He looked hopefully between them. Vanessa was nodding while Blair was shaking her head.

"It ruined my life," Blair stated, releasing Dan's thigh and placing her hands on the table. "So no, I don't think I'm over it."

"Well, look at the bright side," Jenny tried to diffuse the situation, "you're now dating my brother and sitting in Brooklyn having this conversation. I say we're all winners."

"Right, thank you, Jenny," Dan said, nodding with her. "All of us together, breaking bread."

"You know," Blair said, pushing away from the table, "I don't feel like breaking bread and I'm not really in the mood for this. I'm tired and this is bullshit." Blair stood and walked out from the restaurant.

Dan looked at Vanessa, who looked uninterested and was staring at her silverware, and Jenny who was pointing to the door, "Go get her, you idiot."

"I'll be back," Dan said, standing and following Blair out the door. Blair was trying to hail a cab and doing a miserable job of it. "Blair?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Dan," Blair said, her arm waving in the air.

Dan stepped to her cautiously, "I just, I wanted to… I don't know. Apologize?"

"You sound really sincere in wanting to apologize," Blair responded, trying to flag down the taxi that was coming towards them but kept driving. She turned around and glared at him, "I don't feel like listening to bullshit right now."

"It's not bullshit," he said, shoving his hands in his front pockets. "It was awkward in there."

"You think?" she laughed, cruelly and loudly. "You know what it's awkward, calling you and you already having plans with another girl who I don't exactly like that much. It's like Nate and Serena all over again."

"It's not like that at all," he protested, stepping towards her again. She glared at him and he froze in place. "Vanessa and I are just friends."

"You know what I was thinking about," she said, finally putting her arm down. "That conversation about what this was and me saying I don't just video call my friends daily. You and Vanessa Skype all the time when we're in school. And now you already had plans with her when I called to cancel. Tell me I'm reading too far into it," she dared him.

Dan opened his mouth before rubbing his eyes, "It's not like that."

"Then what is it like?"

"We're just friends. She's leaving tomorrow and she called me right before you did."

"How does that make it better, Dan? You realize where I'm coming from, right? I spent the last year of my relationship getting cheated on and told that someone was just a friend. A relationship of lies and half truths is not what I want and to start it off like that, don't you think it's a bad sign?"

"You lied to me to start it off," Dan protested.

"Right, so maybe this isn't going to work then. I'm already lying and you're already replacing me with a 'friend'," She made air quotes around the word friend and put her hand up back in the air.

Dan took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. "It's not like that. It wasn't a lie."

"What would you have done if I said I wanted to hang out tonight?"

"Cancelled on Vanessa."

"Really?" she challenged.

Dan shrugged, "I don't know. Told you the truth about Vanessa leaving like I did? Invite you along? Blair, I spent most of my time in France with your dad talking up Nate who was hanging around. I am an expert, I think now, on awkward dinners, but I have no romantic background with or interest in Vanessa, none. I didn't know she was leaving tomorrow until today. Things happen and I'm sorry that I messed up already."

Blair lowered her arm again and took a tentative step towards him, "Look, I'm tired and jet-lagged and all I want to do is go home and sleep and maybe letting my past relationship taint whatever this is already."

"Well, I can't really blame you there," Dan said, stepping forwards and embracing her, feeling her fingernails go down his back and being, momentarily, transferred back to her bedroom in France. "I'm sorry that tonight was so shitty. Let me take you out tomorrow."

"Okay," Blair said, nodding. "But, can you please get me a cab? I swear they know I'm from the Upper East Side."

* * *

><p>"How was it?" Rufus asked from his place on the couch, looking up from his novel.<p>

"A disaster," Jenny said cheerfully as she jumped onto the couch. "I thought I was going to see Dan shit his pants from nerves."

"That's disgusting, Jen," Dan said, heading towards his bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Rufus called towards him.

Dan looked back, "You were right about needing luck, Dad. I need luck and right now, a lot of advil." Dan closed his bedroom door behind him and sunk into his bed. He closed his eyes and fell asleep to Jenny's muffled voice retelling the night to his Dad in vivid details.


End file.
